What the dick-bulge is happening, all my fellow beautifully endowed meat slingers who’ve decided to venture out wearing gray sweatpants, suddenly you’re fleeing hordes of dickmatyzed folk who want a piece of your wiener, you think you’ve made it but their saliva and crotch juices have formed a storm-tide flood and now you’re caught in a whirlpool screaming HELP, GODDAMMIT, HELP! Coast Guard can’t get to you because it’s too damn turbulent, the President has deemed you a national health hazard and decided to launch nukes, God help your putrid, black-hearted soul—
Arrogant FOOL! With great wiener comes great responsibility! If you’re gonna rock a pair of bulge-friendly sweatpants, you should at least have a Batman grappling gun, an inflatable kayak, and probably a jetpack so you can escape the flood of oncoming sex juices! Basic safety, motherfucker!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #WritingCommunity
🙂 🙂 😀