Give my books a read and a review!

March 23, 2023March 23, 2023 DirtySciFiBuddha2 Comments

What the sex-toy-malfunction is happening, all you enterprising shlorp machines who have gotten a little too carried away with your shlorping and shlorped some new-fangled, multi-armed, AI-powered construct right into your butthole, before you can head to the ER to get it removed, floodlights dart through your darkened bedroom, followed by authoritative voices invoking a mouthful of national security-related legalese, apparently they’re gonna whisk you away to a hidden black site where they’ll separate your ass from the sentient fuck-bot, but they’re gonna have to tear off the roof and airlift you out, all while you stay absolutely still and keep your legs spread so you don’t set off a robosex apocalypse, as they lift you out on a chopper-rigged stretcher, your tech-boosted rectum begins thundering out diatribe that would make Alex Jones sound as tame as Ferris Bueller’s teacher, tears leak down your face as the entire neighborhood gathers to watch and snap pictures of your Skynet-jacked dirt star, why God WHY—

And THAT, my friends, is why you keep them goddamn machines away from your unprotected asshole! ChatGPT is creepy enough, there’s no need to let it speak through your unshaven anus!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀

Check out my sci-fi series: Echo!

March 22, 2023March 22, 2023 DirtySciFiBuddhaLeave a comment

Echo is where I started my writing journey. The series has four books, and is filled with musings on society and existence, along with big doses of violence (especially in book 2) as well as psychic stuff and existential philosophy (book 3 and 4). You can see me get a firmer grip on dialogue, description, action, perspective, and symbolism as you progress through the series. #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Here’s the link: Echo.

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor. Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜 #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommunity

Musings

March 21, 2023March 21, 2023 DirtySciFiBuddha9 Comments

As I’ve grown older, I’ve shifted from railing against being stuck to seeing it as an illusion, since circumstances can’t help but dissolve and change (into death and release, if nothing else). My frustration with being stuck, however, can feel uncomfortably real. That can be leavened through my ability to reframe the situation, by my ability to creatively rationalize why I’m not actually stuck, how there might be an opportunity lying in wait, or simply by my ability to be a happy idiot, trusting that things will eventually change for the better.

Check out my first YA Fantasy book: A Door into Evermoor!

March 20, 2023March 20, 2023 DirtySciFiBuddha2 Comments

Check out my first venture into YA fantasy! Jon’s a regular Earth kid who wants something more. After he stumbles through an interdimensional portal, his wishes are granted in spectacular fashion! During his journey, he encounters a Wolven King and an Elerican Witch, the last Wayfarer, and a half-Elf Princess! All this and more in A Door into Evermoor! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: A Door into Evermoor.

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization!🙂 🙂 😀

Yet another weird ad for my novels

March 19, 2023March 19, 2023 DirtySciFiBuddha10 Comments

“You and me!” I yell as we bungee-jump off the bridge. “Best buds for life!”

“For LIFE!” my penis yells back.

We re-declare our bond with each new adventure: skydiving, jet-skiing, snowboarding, crocheting…then, as we’re dancing the night away at an Ibiza rave, sharp pain erupts from his glans.

“What—who the hell?” I look wildly around, but his attacker has vanished into the crowd.

“Kent…help me.”

I cradle Wiener in my arms. “You’re gonna make it, I promise!” I scan his shaft, zeroing in on a small pair of holes near the top of his frenulum.

“Hurry…” he mumbles. Then he passes out.

FOUR WEEKS LATER…

I’ve tried everything—EVERYTHING. Regenerative therapy, top-tier urologists, the best acupuncturists in the goddamn world…nothing works. All he wants to do is sleep in a coffin-shaped fleshlight.

“Come on,” I beg, tears streaking both my cheeks. “Best buds for life, man—best buds for life!”

Wiener remains unresponsive. Before I can voice another plea, glowing mist swirls under my door, forming into an unmistakable cape-limned figure.

“I have come for what’s mine,” Dracula intones.

“You!” I fix the vampire with a furious glare. “I should have fucking known!”

“Muurrrghh…” Wiener stirs in my arms. “So…hungry…”

Dracula flares his cape, raises his fingers in a classic oogie-boogie gesture, and gives me a fang-heavy, red-eyed snarl. “Surrender to the inevi—”

As I give him the finger, I open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality-distortion powers. Magic flash.

Wiener elongates in a burst of flesh, punching straight through the roof and ripping it clean off the walls. The full moon glares into my bedroom, highlighting the vampire as he cranes back in shock.

“Oh SHI—”

That’s all he gets out before Wiener plummets downward, slamming Dracula’s head into his undead torso. One moment he’s a recognizable human-shaped figure, the next he’s a mess of bone-skewered organs. Wiener pumps up and down for good fucking measure, making the Hulk-Loki beating look like G-rated weak sauce.

Once he’s done, Wiener rears back into the full moon sky, unleashing a triumphant roar from his gore-strewn dicklips. I wince and cover both my ears, but rest assured—I’m smiling on the inside. Who needs stakes or silver bullets, amirite?

Kent Wayne wins again! HEH heh heh!

😀

Has Dracula bitten your gorgeous genitals, then tried to enslave them with his vampire bullshit? Never fear! Buy my books, enlarge your nethers, and smash him into a pile of squishy-ass meat!

Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check out my high school absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! (Yes, I know “absurdical” is a made up word)

March 18, 2023March 18, 2023 DirtySciFiBuddha4 Comments

Idiot demon-jocks, tons of profanity, copious psychedelics, and an airborne kiss at 300 mph, hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha! All this and more in my comedy/horror/sci-fi absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl

Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited

Give my books a read and a review!

March 16, 2023March 16, 2023 DirtySciFiBuddha3 Comments

What the ass-munch is happening, all you sex-warrior posers who’ve talked a good game but now find yourself staring into the puckered butthole of your one-night-stand, realizing they expect you to eat it but now you’re breaking out in a cold sweat and questioning your life choices because you’re not the down-ass fuck-machine you thought you were, as they toss you an irritable look over their shoulder at you you start wailing, “I need an adult! I NEED AN ADULT!” Then you tumble off the bed in a mess of comforter and sheets, scramble klutzily to your feet and wrestle with the door, god-fucking-dammit it was working just a second ago, why the fuck won’t it open, fuck it just jump out the window and escape this mind-boggling, human-centipede-style lunacy—

Goddamn—JUST EAT IT! It’s 2023, mofo! It won’t be long before you’re banging a robot and fucking via brain-linking techno-tentacles!

🙂 🙂 😀

Check out my sci-fi series: Echo!

March 15, 2023March 15, 2023 DirtySciFiBuddhaLeave a comment

Here’s the link: Echo.

Musings

March 14, 2023March 14, 2023 DirtySciFiBuddha31 Comments

I’ve concluded that arguing with negativity-oriented people–those who use creativity and rationale to consistently redirect focus back onto negativity–is a waste of time. Nothing you say or do will be good enough; the best you can do is temporarily quiet them with tangible results. Even then, they’ll eventually find a way to rationalize your efforts as insufficient.

So I’d rather leave them be and concentrate on the next opportunity. They’ve already decided that nothing works as it should.