Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

FIVE LIGHT-YEARS AWAY FROM THE MILKY WAY’S SUPER MASSIVE BLACK HOLE, IN THE DIRECTION OF THE PLANET KNOWN AS EARTH…

 

[We DID it, Zorbot-5!] I telepathically beam to my Gray Alien comrade.  [Fours!}  He reaches up and slaps his palm against mine.  (I know you Earthlings typically say “Fives,” but we Gray Aliens do not require the extra digit—we have evolved beyond such infantile needs.)

[Yes!]  Zorbot-5 pumps his fist.  [Can’t believe we made it into the New York Times!]  (No joke—the NY Times has made it official; the U.S. Navy has encountered physics-bending aircraft that are not of this earth).  [Man, all those cattle mutilations and giant mysterious temples were fucking WORTH it!]

[Time to go buck-nuts crazy with the anal probes!] I chortle.  [I love to invade their rectums with a big-ass dildo made of exotic materials—did you see that last one’s face?]

Zorbot-5 widens his eyes and slackens his mouth, mocking the puny Earthlings we plunder and violate.  [DURRR—me am from Earth!  Me like reality TV and poisonous fast food!  Me am bound to scarcity-driven paradigm—fuck the laws of consciousness-based creation!  DURRRRR!!!]

We burst out laughing, slapping our consoles and clutching our guts.  After nearly a minute, I manage, [Those stupid fucking Earthlings…I swear.]  I shake my head and wipe a tear from my eye.  [Ahhh…that was good.]

[I’m with you, Zorbot-6.]  Zorbot-5 pushes a waist-high lever, activating the retro-drive.  [Let’s probe us some assholes.]

 

 

DOWN ON THE BLUE GREEN MUDBALL KNOWN AS EARTH…

 

*Ranz des Vaches from the William Tell Overture*

Do-be-do-be-doooo…

Doobit!

I roll over in bed, intending to encircle my newest Soccer Mom lover with my brawny arm, but she’s already left.  In her place are a couple of twenty dollar bills and a loving note in cursive that reads:  “Until next time, Man Whore.”

Sweet!  Forty bucks buys me two large pies from Bronx Pizza!  I tuck the money into my undies and swing my legs over the side of the bed, taking a moment to smile at the dawning sky through my window.  Hello, sun!  Hello clouds!  Hello flying saucer streaking down from the strato—

HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK!

I’m yanked through the window by a yellow-tinged tractor beam, spread into a crucifix by its telekinetic might.  It slowly but steadily pulls me in, lifting me up through a port in the bottom of the craft.  A second later, I’m strapped onto a cold steel table, staring up at a pair of ugly Gray Aliens.

[Prepare to be probed.] one of them deadpans.

The other one does his best to keep a straight face, but an involuntary chuckle bursts from his mouth.

FUCKERS!  No way in HELL they’re gonna probe me!  I funnel my entire being into a single physical action:  yanking my eReader out from my undies and opening it to Kor’Thank, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

My wiener surges from my tighty-whiteys (skid-mark free thanks to my bidet), snaking ten feet high up into the air and letting loose with a furious roar.

“WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER?!?”  It swings violently from side to side, taking in its surroundings.  “GRAY ALIEN PROBERS, EH?  WELL TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME!”

[No!] Zorbot-5 screams!  [Please—we’ll fuck off and leave you alone!  We promise!!!]

“SHOULD’VE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU TRIED TO WRECK KENT’S BOOTY-HOLE!] Wiener thunders.  [THINK YOUR STOOPID-ASS PROBES CAN HOLD A CANDLE TO MY MEATY GIRTH AND DIAMOND-HARD UPCURVE?  PREPARE TO REAP THE WHIRLWHIND, YOU GRAY ALIEN FUCKS!”

[NO!!!  NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!]

(I wish I could include what happens next, but anal destruction is best left to the imagination.)

That’s what you get for trying to pillage my dirt star, you interdimensional savages!  Kent Wayne wins again!  Ha HA!

😀

 

 

Have you been accosted by Gray Alien prober-bros?  Never fear!  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited

Chapter 7 of the Unbound Realm is UP!

Chapter 7 of the Unbound Realm, my work-in-process YA fantasy series, is UP!  Ren and Jon get a dose of fantasy-world fascism!  When things get hairy after you walk into a shady tavern full of humanoid creatures, what are you supposed to do?  Oh yeah–BRAWL!  Here’s the link:  Chapter 7 of the Unbound Realm

Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited

Please buy and review Kor’Thank and Echo!

What the cock-odor is going on, you nasty fucks who gauge your dick-dirtiness by seeing if it smells when you whip it out to pee (had a friend who took that as a clue to shower—true story) but otherwise remain undisturbed by the Cthulu-like horror that’s festering between your le—

Jesus fucking CHRIST!  How the hell could you let that probably-smaller-than-mine, sea-creature-like appendage become so gross???  How about some soap and water, you disgusting philistine?  And don’t just wash the shaft and head, scrub up the balls and b-hole—someone’s gonna put their face down there!  Nasty!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast!  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!

🙂 🙂 😀

Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited

Musings

Focus and enjoy, focus and enjoy.

I try not to rail against the unwanted; that only draws me into a stagnant quagmire.  I try to focus on what I want to happen, not the things I don’t want to happen, for those will resolve as I direct my focus into a solution-oriented lane.

Acknowledge problems, don’t bemoan them.

Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited

 

Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

I am feeling…

Sneaky.

Sneaky McSneakerson Sneaky!  HEH heh heh!

I sneak through my apartment, tiptoeing and slinking through hallways and rooms (well, hallway and room is a better way to put it—I can’t really work with too much more, unless it’s a garage so I can build me a gym) peeking around corners and giggling shiftily.

Sneaky sneaky sneaky!  Sooooooo SNEAKY!

Love me some sneaking!  I twiddle my fingers and glance slyly to either side.  I can only do this in the comfort of my home; if I tried it in public, I’d be slapped with a restraining order.  Instead of begging me to whip out my womb-hammer, Soccer Moms would slap me silly and mace my face-holes.

So I do it in the comfort of my own home.  Sneak to the fridge.  HEH heh heh!  Sneak to the bedroom.  HEE hee hee!  Sneak out a shit!  Nyah ha ha! (Ker-SPLOOSH!)

Suddenly, kitted-up figures crash through the windows and my front door blows inward.  In less than a second, I’m surrounded by men with guns and body armor.

Oh no!  Agents from the worst government agency in the long-ass history of governments and agencies:  The Bureau of Adulting!

“FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER!  CEASE YOUR SNEAKING AND SHOW US YOUR HANDS!”

“Happy to comply!”  I punch my arms out, giving them all the double middle-finger.

“HARDEE-HAR HAR, ASSHOLE—WE’LL SEE HOW FUNNY YOU ARE IN AN ADULTING INTERNMENT CAMP!  YOU’LL BE WORKING ON SPREADSHEETS 9 HOURS A DAY, STRAPPED INTO A STRAITJACKET WE LIKE TO CALL ‘BUSINESS CASUAL!”

Panic flashes through me.  I can’t work in an office—I’d sooner drink a cup of stagnant piss!

So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Chuck Norris busts through the wall, showering us all in powder and fragments.  He whips off his jeans, forces an agent down to his knees, then skullfucks his face with a massive boner.

“Holy SHIT!”  One of the agents shouts.  A couple others clutch their stomachs and barf in horror.

“Come on, Kent!”  Chuck grimaces in (pain?  Pleasure?  Can’t really tell) as he thrusts his penis into the agent’s eye socket.  “I know you’re packing some heat between yer legs—whip it out and get to skullfucking!”  He jizzes into the man’s cranium and roundhouse kicks a dude in his slack-jawed face, exploding the guy’s brain into a bloody mess.  The agents open fire but he shields his body with a Roundhouse Storm, kicking their bullets right back at them.

“Uh…I think I’m just gonna…” I gesture at the door as he rips a dude’s nuts off and scarfs em down.  “I think I’m gonna GO…”

“Cool beans!  More fer me!  Hey—you wanna get together later and do some naked bicep curls while we stare intently into a mirror and not at each other’s penises?”

“Um…sorry, man.  I’m kinda busy later.  Got a date with a Soccer Mom.”

“Suit yerself, ya communist pussy!”

I run through the door before he can hit me with another crazy-ass suggestion.  Sure he’s weird, but at least I got away from the Bureau of Adulting!  Kent Wayne escapes again!  Ha HA!

😀

 

Are Serious Folks insisting you grow the hell up and become a Responsible Adult?  Never fear!  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited

Thank You Recent Echo and Kor’Thank Purchasers and Readers!!!

YerbaNobber Gobbologist REX!  Big ol’ Thank You Muchly to those fantastic folks who bought Echo or Kor’Thank or read Echo on Kindle Unlimited yesterday!  Whoever you people are…Thank You So Much!!!  🙂 🙂 😀

Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited

Chapter 7 of the Unbound Realm is UP!

Chapter 7 of the Unbound Realm, my work-in-process YA fantasy series, is UP!  Ren and Jon get a dose of fantasy-world fascism!  When things get hairy after you walk into a shady tavern full of humanoid creatures, what are you supposed to do?  Oh yeah–BRAWL!  Here’s the link:  Chapter 7 of the Unbound Realm

Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited

Musings

As I’ve grown, I’ve come to realize that negative emotion must run its course, but there’s a point where it naturally skews toward something more positive.  I try to be aware of that organic turning point—when anger becomes easier than clinging to despair, when boredom becomes easier than clinging to anger.

In the past, I’ve wallowed in the negative, but as I age, I don’t have the energy for it.  So I watch for that turning point, when relief comes in the form of a slightly more positive emotion.  The key is to avoid false positivity (which simply makes me more negative) and reach for true relief.  I don’t have to jump straight to ecstasy, I just have to resonate with the best emotion I can feel at the time, knowing it will open into something better.

That way, I can surf the tides with ease and grace, instead of flailing about in the merciless undertow.

Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited

Thank You Recent Echo Purchasers!!!

RiBobbleYobber NerGaNips!!!  Thank Ya Thank Ya to whoever bought a copy of Echo on Kindle yesterday!!!  🙂 🙂 😀

Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited

It’s Free Sample Friday!

YerJobbyNobby ErGoobenShlatz, IT’S FREE SAMPLE FRIDAY!!!  Check out barbarian warriors, teen geniuses, and teen queens here:  Kor’Thank, and angry cyborg-shooter-soldier fellas here:  Echo.  And here’s the first few chapters of my YA fantasy series:  The Unbound Realm.  My podcast, Strained Brains, is available here:  Strained Brains

Happy Friday y’all!  🙂 🙂 😀

Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited