Tomorrow, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl will be FREE on Kindle for five days!

Tomorrow, Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl will be FREE on Kindle for five days through October 7! This is by far the zaniest of all my books! If you want to dip your toe in a comedy/horror/sci-fi/teen-genius tale with copious amounts of psychedelics and a 300 mph kiss hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha, then give it a read! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 😀😀😁

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the book links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to that book’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, and zany ads WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!   😲💪 😜

The day after tomorrow—October 3—Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl will be FREE on Kindle for five days!

The day after tomorrow—October 3—Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl will be FREE on Kindle through October 7! This is by far the zaniest of all my books! If you want to dip your toe in a comedy/horror/sci-fi/teen-genius tale with copious amounts of psychedelics and a 300 mph kiss hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha, then give it a read! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 😀😀😁

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the book links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to that book’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, and zany ads WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!   😲💪 😜

Give my books a read and a review!

What the math-boner is happening, all you boredom-vulnerable meatslingers who’ve made the terrible mistake of wearing gray sweatpants to a goddamn calculus class, as your professor starts professorizing blood rushes into your peen, causing it to strain like a champion powerlifter forced into a straitjacket—HRRH!  RRRRHHH!!!—it pokes above your waistband and continues to inch upward, oh shit it’s not gonna stop, derivatives logarithms integrals and chain rules why the fuck are they tangenting into quantum fucking physics, your boner plops out and herniates your back while simultaneously sending the class into a frenzy, they’re yelling “KILL IT KILL IT BEFORE IT DESTROYS US ALL!” brandishing pitchforks and torches (Goddamn penis-fearing heathens!)  Now they’re rushing you and you can’t escape because your wiener is the size of a big-ass TV, if only you had a wheelbarrow to help move it around but even then you’d have to fight this mob of intolerant philistines—

And THAT, my friends, is why you don’t wear sweatpants to a goddamn math class!  Wrap that shit around your thigh and your ankle, then cinch it off before you learn you some numbers!  Goddamn!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy:  A Door into Evermoor.  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀


Check out my sci-fi series: Echo!

Echo is where I started my writing journey. The series has four books, and is filled with musings on society and existence, along with big doses of violence (especially in book 2) as well as psychic stuff and existential philosophy (book 3 and 4). You can see me get a firmer grip on dialogue, description, action, perspective, and symbolism as you progress through the series. #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Here’s the link: Echo.

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor. Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀    

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜   #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommunity

Musings

Theoretically, abundance is a given. Potential dances through and around us, in every quantum fluctuation of our existence. But that doesn’t always translate to life, where it often seems like we’re cut off and bereft.

That’s why we are creative individuals. If we can open our perception to possibility and adventure, we can begin to ride their transcendent currents.

Check out my first YA Fantasy book: A Door into Evermoor!

Check out my first venture into YA fantasy!  Jon’s a regular Earth kid who wants something more.  After he stumbles through an interdimensional portal, his wishes are granted in spectacular fashion!  During his journey, he encounters a Wolven King and an Elerican Witch, the last Wayfarer, and a half-Elf Princess!  All this and more in A Door into Evermoor! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: A Door into Evermoor.

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!🙂 🙂 😀

Yet another weird ad for my novels

“Still don’t see why he can’t get a ride,” I grumble.  “He’s a brainless Chad.  His brainless Chad buddies can drive him around.”

Katie, the soccer mom who’s been using me like a cheap piece of meat on sale at Costco, sighs in exasperation and rolls her eyes.  “We’ve been over this, Kent.  I can’t be in two places at once.  Tanner’s got school, and I have a business meeting.”

“Doesn’t change the facts—he could’ve hitched a ride from a douchebag friend.”

“True, but he fucked up.  I told him the next time it happened, he would have to spend time with the hot-cock author who’s been widening out his mom.”  She pinches my cheek, gives it a wiggle, and chuckles mischievously. 

“You’re evil,” I mutter.

“You love it.”  She glances out the window.  “This is my stop.  Kiss.”  She leans in and puckers her lips.  After we smooch and she closes the door, I’m back on the road, heading over to her shithead son’s shitty-ass high school.

Looks like I’m early—no one’s outside.  I shift into park, get out, and stretch my arms overhead.  I suppose she’s right; this is a pretty bad/ingenious punishment.  The awkwardness is gonna be a 12 out of 10.  I should have fun with it:  encourage the use of condoms, or warn him about the unsightliness of certain STDS.  Ha!  Maybe I should bring up—

My eyes settle on a shadowy figure, crouching in the branches of a nearby tree.  What.  The FUCK? 

I walk up and yell, “Hey!  Creeper!  Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

He turns his cowled head, revealing himself to be…holy SHIT!  “I’m on a stakeout,” Batman rasps.  “Go away.”

“A stakeout?” I sputter.  “Get Robin to do it, you gross motherfucker!  This is a high school!  Wait a second…”  Suspicion dawns, coalescing into a sickening realization.  “You’re the new one…you haven’t ditched your pedo-vampire ways.” 

“The fuck are you on about?”  Batman hops down, rips off his cowl, and stomps toward me.  “Check yourself, fuckhole, before I pull your lower intestines out from your ass, your upper intestines out from your mouth, and use your body as a motherfucking jump rope.”  He jabs a finger into my chest.

I smack it away.  “Fuck you, you Cedric Diggory-looking motherfucker!  Step the fuck back, or I’ll sic Chris Nolan on your unformidable ass!”

“Oh no you did NOT!” he roars.  “You are DEAD, you hear me???  DEAD!!!” 

I parry and dodge a storm of blows, but it’s clear I’ve struck a big-ass nerve—I can’t keep up with his murderous barrage.  So I open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

“I am vengeance!” he shouts.  “I am the NIGHT!  I—”

“Poor choice of words.”  Chris Hansen emerges from an interdimensional portal, adjusting one cuff, then the other. 

“Wait…what?”  Batman collapses to a knee, clambers up, then lurches backwards, losing his balance and falling on his butt.  “Stay back…”  He raises an arm.  “Stay back, damn you!”

“You’re over a hundred years old and you’re trying to date high schoolers.  Tsk fucking tsk.”  Hansen wags a finger.  “Due to my background, my aura’s been imbued with unique energies, incapacitating to scum like you.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to do—”  He launches a kick into the unarmored section between Batman’s ribs and his bulky utility belt.  “THIS!”

“HOOF!  Edward Cullen curls into a ball.

“I’ll take it from here, Kent.”  Chris gives me a nod.  “Go back to ravishing hot-ass soccer moms, like the good lord intended.”

“Uh…thanks.  What are you gonna do with him?”  I eye Batman uncertainly.

“Beat his ass and rip his dick off.”  He turns back to Edward and cracks his knuckles.

“Mind if I watch?”

“Be my guest.”  Chris slides on a metal-threaded glove.  Blade-like quills run up and down its palm.  “Always wanted to give this a go.  It’s called:  ‘The Sausage Slicer.’  Those goddamn execs never let me use it.  But now it’s different—I’m not beholden to their primetime bullshit.” 

That thing looks NASTY.  I hiss through my teeth.  “On second thought…Imma go.”

“Suit yourself.”  Chris flexes the Slicer.

As I run to the car, Edward’s scream carries through the air.  “No, please!  Dear God in heaven, don’t—NYAAAARRRGHH!!!”

Have you butted heads with sex-crimes Batman?  Never fear!  Buy my books, summon Chris Hansen, and slice that sausage like there’s no tomorrow!

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor. Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check out my high school absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! (Yes, I know “absurdical” is a made up word)

Idiot demon-jocks, tons of profanity, copious psychedelics, and an airborne kiss at 300 mph, hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha!  All this and more in my comedy/horror/sci-fi absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl!  #writingcommunity #writer #BookTok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor. Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited 

Give my books a read and a review!

What the breakup-fart is happening, all you folks who obey and abide by the Unspoken Laws of Civilization, yet despite your best efforts a giant beefer escapes your anus in an ascending elevator, there’s only one other dude in there and as you lock eyes with him there’s no question he knows he FUCKING KNOWS you farted so you judo-throw him to the ground, take his back, and apply a rear naked choke as he claws at your arm and tears of regret flow down your cheeks and you whisper “I’m sorry…God, I’m sorry…go to sleep, shhh…shhh…” 

And THAT, my friends, is why you always carry a chloroformed hanky, so you don’t have to kill anyone who’s unlucky enough to catch a whiff of your ass!  Put em to sleep BEFORE your spider-esque orifice starts barking up a storm, you crude, unconscionable heathen!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy:  A Door into Evermoor.  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #WritingCommunity

🙂 🙂 😀


Check out my sci-fi series: Echo!

Echo is where I started my writing journey. The series has four books, and is filled with musings on society and existence, along with big doses of violence (especially in book 2) as well as psychic stuff and existential philosophy (book 3 and 4). You can see me get a firmer grip on dialogue, description, action, perspective, and symbolism as you progress through the series. #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Here’s the link: Echo.

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor. Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀    

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜   #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommunity