Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

[Outer God Kent] Nyarlathotep telepathically projects to me.  [You haven’t driven enough mortals insane, and your tentacle game is looking a little weak.]

[What the fuck are you talking about?] I project back.  [I’ve drawn billions into the Infinite Abyss, then drunk their souls with my astral proboscis.  Maybe you should spend a little less time fisting your monstrous holes and a little more time doing your job.]

[The jig is up, Kent.  We know you haven’t done your job for several eons.  Instead, you’ve been writing stoopid-ass science fiction and incarnating as a super-hot dude who seduces Soccer Moms with his unbelievably beautiful pork sword.]

Shit.  They’re on to me.  FUCK these assholes!  Always gibbering about the Great Rending, or the Ruining of Worlds.  I wanna have SEX, goddammit!  And who cares if I like writing about robo-suits and gatling lasers—I’m an artisté, bitch!

So I open my mind to Echo, activating the sci-fi epic’s reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

[Oh no.  NO.  This will not do at ALL!]  A stern, sexy voice echoes throughout the aether.

Oh shit—it’s Soccer Mom Prime!

[I was just kidding, Soccer Mom Prime!]  The dark god Nyarlathotep projects a nervous laugh.  [I would never cross minds with you—you’re far too strong!]

[Damn straight I am!] she thunders.  [And no one—I mean NO ONE—is gonna deprive me of the sweet dicking down that only Kent Wayne and his upcurved wiener are solely capable of!  Now fuck off back to the Deep!]

As Nyarlathotep seeps back into Void, Soccer Mom Prime beckons me over with her mind.

[Let’s go, Man Whore.  I didn’t go astral so I could sit around and wait for multiversal heat death.  Get yer pants off and let’s get to boffing!]

Can’t argue with that!

😀

*70s porn music*

 

 

Are you a former Lurker of the Cosmos who wants to quit all the Doom and Wrath bullshit and get your genitals wet?  Never fear!  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

We all crave it:  True Novelty.  And I, Kent Wayne, Well-Endowed Fantasy Explorer, have finally arrived at its hallowed doorstep.

The journey has been grueling.  Gallons of fluids have passed my lips as I replenished the gametes that flew from my body.  (which means I had to rehydrate all the frickin’ time because along the way, I was shooting a copious loads into Syrens, Nymphs, and a bevy of other super-charged sex-creatures).  Indeed, if it wasn’t for a portable IV drip I acquired on the realm called “Earth,” I would have withered away long ago from the lack of electrolytes and saline fluids.

Now, after an epic trek across five dimensions and eight universes, I stop before a glimmering pool of indescribable radiance.  Behold!  The very essence of creativity itself, contained within a subterranean lake of mind-boggling proportions.  I take a moment to close my eyes and inhale the vapors.

I approach the waters, ready to anoint myself in—

“STOP RIGHT THERE!”  A pasty, micro-dicked figure jumps in front of me, blocking my way forward.

Oh SHIT!  It’s Grammar Nazi Prime, cockblocker of all things creative!

“Out of my way, GNP,” I hiss.  “I’ve fucked damn near every hole in the goddamn multiverse.  I’m not going to let you stop me.”

“And there’s your conundrum!” he crows.  “I have no interest in your upcurved, diamond-hard wiener!  You have no power over me, Kent Wayne!”

Fuck.  I’m half-dead from my intergalactic sexfest.  There’s no way I can fight off a vindictive asshole who’s bent on punishing me for every improper sentence I’ve ever written.

So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

My peen bursts from my pants in a thick coil of turgid flesh and gleaming dickhead.  “WHO THREATENS MY MASTER???” Wiener roars.

“No!”  GNP cries, shielding his face with his hands.  “Don’t fuck me!”

“DON’T BE CRASS–I’M NOT A BARBARIAN!” Wiener scoffs.  He coils in place like a pissed-off cobra.  “I’M JUST GONNA PULL OFF YOUR LIMBS AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH!”

Then he surges forward, entangling GNP in a massive tangle of veiny flesh.  A quick flex of his muscled length, and GNP’s legs and arms pop off like Thanksgiving wishbones.

“RUAHAHAHA!!!” Wiener guffaws as his different segments beat GNP’s limbless corpse with his own appendages.  “THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR STIFLING NOVELTY!”

I wince and flinch as the beating continues.  But like Wiener said—that’s what you get!

🤔 😂

 

 

Have you traveled far and wide, and are now being threatened by a small-dicked Grammar Nazi?  Never fear!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

Oh shit!  Ain’t nothin’ better than being a giant-ass dragon, eating the fuck out of rando knights and taking big ol’ shits on noblemen’s castles!  Every now and then, a bunch of adventurers try to take my stuff, but I fuck em up with smog and fire, or maybe a cone of frost +10, depending on my mood!  Fuck those thieving assholes!

Right now I’m returning to my lair after winding down from an epic murder-fest where I razed an Orc village, battled some wizards, and face-fucked a hydra.  (Facial times three, bitch!)  Gonna crawl in my mountain and take a nap.

But as I enter my home, I smell an intruder.  “FEE FI FO FUM!” I thunder.  “WHO’S GONNA GET FLAME-FUCKED UP THEIR FLESHY LITTLE BUM?”

“Hey, Dragon!” a voice pipes up.

I look down and spot an Elven lady holding a crystal staff.  It’s gem-tipped end blazes with light.

“The fuck you want?” I grumble.  “You come all this way just to get eaten?”

“Nah bitch!” she spits (props for sassing me—she’s like a thousandth of my size).  “I wanna get LAID!”

“Da fuq?” I snort.  “You into some crazy bestiality shit?  Sorry lady—not my style.”

“You’re not a dragon—not at heart!” she says.  “Behold your true nature!”  And then she whips out her magic eReader, opening it to Echo and activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Oh SHIIIIITTT!!!  I suddenly begin to shrink.  My scales melt inward and my tail disappears.  A second later, I’m sitting butt nekkid on my heap of treasure, staring disbelievingly at my muscled human body and my knee-knocking dong.

“That’s better.”  She smiles.  “See?  You were meant to be Kent Wayne:  Man Whore legend.  You were meant to service horny Elven Soccer Moms, e.g. me.  Now get yer cock over here and get to servicing!”

I consider for a second, then shrug in defeat.  Who am I to argue?  Servicing Elven Soccer Moms is the mothafuckin’ SHIT!

😀

*70s porn music*

 

 

Need a break from being a reptilian murder machine?  Never fear!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Today is the LAST day that Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99!

Booger-free babies!!!  (If only, right?)  Today is the LAST day that Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99!  Power through your tenth or eleventh quarantine-jack of the day (don’t be modest—I know some of you are pushing into double digits!), hook that IV into your arm so you don’t turn into a withered, dehydrated mummy of a human, and go tell everybody!  WHOOO!!!

Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

For today and tomorrow, Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99!

Bigfoot’s bleached butthole!!!  For today and tomorrow, Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99!  Crack off another orgasm into your secretary’s face (really not a gender thing, if you think it through—HEH heh heh!), and go tell everybody!  WHOOO!!!

Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Today is the LAST day that Echo 1 is FREE!  Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99 for three more days!

Dripping dickholes from Dirion-7!!!  Today is the LAST day that Echo 1 is FREE!  Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99 for three more days!  Polish off your last 10 grams of magic mushies, speak and commune with the white-haired center of Odin’s asshole, and go tell everybody!  WHOOO!!!

Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

For today and tomorrow, Echo 1 is FREE!  Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99 for four days!

Ham on rye with a big ol’ side of cum in the eye!!!  For today and tomorrow, Echo 1 is FREE!  Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99 for four days!  Finish gift-wrapping that giant steak-n-pasta turd that you just pinched out, mail it to whichever politician has gained your ire, and go tell everybody!  WHOOO!!!

Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀