Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

“As part of Third Leg Thursday, please welcome the man you’ve all been waiting for, our hottest draw and biggest Whorebag, sci-fi author and perennial Man Child, KEEeeeeeeeeEEENT WAYNE!”

KC and the Sunshine Band’s “Get Down Tonight” blares over the speakers as I make my way onstage, my big ol’ piece swaying between my knees.  Soccer moms go wild and start throwing panties and dollas at my nekkid body, littering the stage with garments and bills.  I shake up two cans of whipped cream, throw my head back, fill my mouth with delicious white froth—PSSHHHH—and rub the excess all over my body.  The ladies go wild.

“STOP!”

The doors burst open.  A flood of indignant husbands and their angry douche-jock children flood into the club.  Chaos erupts amongst the moms.

“Gotta get the fuck outta here—”

“Let me at that last line of coke—”

“Too much DMT—I’m merging with All That Was and All That Is!”

“LADIES!”  I pat the air with my hands, trying to restore order.  “If you could please just—”

“You’re dead, Kent—DEAD!”  Husbands and douche-sons come surging toward me, making chopping motions down by their crotches.  Holy Fuckles—they’re gonna cut off my award-winning salami!

Can’t let that happen.  So I reach into my [CENSORED], pull out my eReader, and open it to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

“RAAAAAAHHHH!!!”  I throw my arms back and roar at the sky.  My wiener launches up from between my kneecaps straight up through the roof, hundreds of feet into the air.  For dozens of miles around, my enormous phallus becomes strikingly visible, punching past the cloud layer and poking through the atmosphere.

It is a sign of solidarity, a beacon of fellowship amongst the Thick.  A signal that one of their own is in dire straits, and requires the aid of his fellow womb-hammers.

And so they come.  They come en masse.

Winged cocks descend from above.  Every one of them qualifies as premium penis—girthy, veiny but not TOO veiny, and curved up.  They zip through the club, battering my would-be murderers with glans and frenulum.

“AHHH!  FLYING COCKS!  WHAT THE FUCK!”

“OH GOD IT’S COMING RIGHT AT MY MOUT—GLOMPF!”

“THEY SMELL LIKE CHEESY SOCKS!  THE HORROR!  THE HORROR!”

I run out of the club, cackling like the cat that got the cream.  Trynna stifle my Man Whore madness?  Not a chance assholes, not a chance.

HEH heh heh!

😀

 

 

Are you trying to slang that dick, but haters be hating on your big ol’ piece?  Never fear!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜

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Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

“YOUR BRAIN IS TOO BIG, KENT!  HOW’S IT FEEL TO BE UTTERLY HELPLESS, LIKE THE REST OF US DOUCHE-JOCKS WHEN WE’RE FLUMMOXED BY BASIC ARITHMETIC???”

Blake Turner, my high-school nemesis, pummels my belly as his idiot hench-minions pull back on my arms.  I grimace and wince like a fucking action hero.

“Not too big for your mom,” I rasp.

“The fuck did you say?”  He leans in and gives me a menacing stare.  Gross—the pimples on his nose look like goddamn Christmas ornaments.

“Oh I’m sorry—I thought we were talking about cocks.  Your mom loves the taste of mine—I’ll let you guys in on a trade secret:  smear some lemon juice right beneath the head, and—”

“You FUCKER!”  Blake socks me in the belly and I double over, cough-laughing like a movie badass who secretly knows he’s about to turn the tables.

“I’ve got an ace up my sleeve,” I rasp.  “Imma bout to destroy you, cockface.”

And before he can respond, I rip an arm free, reach into my pocket, and open my eReader to Echo.

Time slows down.  A sheet of paper materializes in my hand, and—fwip-fwip-FWIP—I fold it into a paper airplane.  I launch it into the air and little thrusters materialize on its backside.  A cockpit bubbles up from its front, and tiny gatling cannons form on its flanks.  The cannons spin into overdrive, peppering my enemies with a disgusting blend of feces, piss, and overcooked sperm.

“AAAAHHH!!”  Blake and his cronies shield their faces, screaming and yelping like the cocksmears they are.  “WHAT THE FUCK!”

I clench my fists and grin maniacally.  Perfect time to start singing Ride of the Valkyries.  “Daah dah-dah DAH dah, Daah dah-dah DAH dah…”

Blake and his bung-lickers run out the door, gibbering frantically.  My airplane from hell follows close behind, keeping them pinned with an unrelenting barrage of Gross.  HEH heh heh!

😀

 

 

Are you being bullied by some unevolved teenagers?  Need to beat them back with a magic paper airplane that’ll coat their faces in week-old poop?  Never fear!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!    🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜

Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

Blurrrghh…my name is Labrador Kent.  All day long I think, “Dog dog dog.  Eat eat eat.  Dog dog dog.”

I thought I could maintain my blissful ignorance.  Joke was on me.

Enter Irma Horfendorff:  my human caretaker.

I used to be nice.  Never even swore.  But this crazy-ass bitch is pushing the boundaries—always telling me to calm down and stop humping legs.  I’m a DOG, goddammit!

“KENT!” she thunders as I withdraw my wiener from the next-door neighbor’s tight-ass chihuahua.  “THAT is IT!  You are getting NEUTERED!”

Oh FUCK—bitch lost her marbles!  I tear across the suburbs, my doggy eyes wide with panic.  She wants my fucking nuts, and not in a good way!

I chance a quick look back.  Irma’s pursuing me in her PT Cruiser.  I pick up the pace, but to no avail; the sound of the engine draws ever closer.

Then Rowfus Roofus, my best buddy and Terrier Extraordinaire, tosses me an eReader.  I catch it between my teeth and open it to Echo with a jerk of my head, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Hard-light constructs section across me.  Blazing plates connect and snap, ensconcing me in a sheath of translucent canine armor.  A cool-ass helmet materializes around my skull.  At first it’s comprised of glowing wireframe, then color spills across it and locks it into reality.  The last thing that forms is a dog-o-rific techno-monocle that snaps down over my right eye.  Its transparent lens superimposes a mess of targeting data onto my vision.

Bad.  ASS.

I turn around and face my pursuer.  Irma breaks and comes to a sudden stop.  She shifts into park and emerges from the door, her eyes wide with wonder and awe.

“Holy…”  her mouth works soundlessly.

“Roof arf McBARK!” I snarl.  (My nuts are MINE!  Back the FUCK off!)

And before she can reply, my shoulder-mounted cannon fires a glowing orb right at her car.  The Cruiser flies a hundred yards back before it explodes in a spectacular mess.  Irma falls on her butt, gasping in terror.

HEH heh heh!  Don’t fuck with robo-dog Kent!

I turn around and sprint down the street.  Look out cats—I’m coming for you next!  Mwahaha!

😀

 

 

Are you a freewheeling Labrador who’s in danger of being castrated by a cold, unfeeling human?  Never fear!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜

Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

“Wow…it’s like angel skin..”

Soccer Moms run their hands across my satin-smooth scrotum, marveling at its pendulous majesty with wide eyes and parted lips.

I put my hands on my hips like a 50s superhero, smiling broadly at them.  “Yep—there’s a good reason why I’ve won three awards for the most beautiful set of genitals in the Northern Hemisphere.  A lotta folks concentrate on my thick, upcurved wiener, but they forget all about my grapefruit-sized sack.  Magnificent, isn’t it?”

The nearest Soccer Mom curls her lip in undisguised disgust.  “Fucking gross, is more like it.”

“Wait, what?”  My pride turns to puzzlement.  “But just a second ago, you were saying that—”

They reach up to their heads, grab hold of their hair, and rip off their faces, Mission Impossible-style.

Holy fuck; they’re not Soccer Moms.  They’re goddamn BETA MALES.

My shocked expression elicits high-pitched guffaws and testosterone-killing snort-laughs.

“You think you could steal all the women from us, Kent?  You and your coke-can wiener and your slappy-sack balls?  Think again, asshole!”

“Wait!”  I pull my pants up and back away.  “Think about what you’re doing!  My genitals are a national treasure.  Don’t—”

Too late.  They rush me in a furious tide of snarls and hisses.  FUCK.

So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

My wiener pokes up from my waistband.  “Use me,” it whispers through its dick-slit.  “Together, we can beat the ass off these small-cocked dorks.  Use me, Kent—I’m your only hope.”

For a second I hesitate; the idea of exposing my amazing dong to any sort of danger…

But then it hits me:  there’s no other choice.  He’s right, dammit.  He’s right.

“Let’s DO THIS!”  I grab hold of his base and he leaps to life, growing four feet long and spearing a Beta Male right through the eye:  SPLUTCH.  I buck my hips back and whirl into a 360-degree cock-spin, decapitating five Beta Males in less than a second.  Their heads fly through the air and bounce off the walls, ricocheting off each other like errant pool balls.

The rest of the Beta Males flee out the door, gibbering and screaming.  My cock roars in triumphant battle-fury.

“RUN, YOU DICKLESS BASTARDS!  RUN!”

That’s right mofos—that’s what you get for messing with my award-winning salami!

😀

 

 

Have a bunch of low-down genital-haters disguised themselves as fans in a sneaky attempt to take your ass out?  Never fear!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜

Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

Uggghhh…I pat my belly and sigh in contentment.  Just ate a whole peecha.  Extra jalapenos, extra sausage, extra onions…extra everything.

And now I revel in my glorious, disgusting belly.  Food babies are the BEST.

Suddenly, three booming words ring through the air:

“I HAVE WOKEN.”

I bolt up on my couch.  What the fuck???

“THE TIME IS NIGH.  I WILL FLOOD YOUR DIMENSION WITH FIRE AND WRATH.  YOUR FLESHLING BODIES WILL FEED MY ESSENCE.”

“Who are you?” I whimper, looking fearfully around.  “WHAT are you?”

A sinister chuckle.  “ISN’T IT OBVIOUS?”  A rolling grumble emanates from my belly.

Oh shit.

Oh SHIT!

It’s MY FOOD BABY!

“HOPE YOU’VE PRACTICED LAMAZE BREATHING, KENT.  WHEN I COME THROUGH, IT’S GOING TO FEEL LIKE YOU’RE GIVING BIRTH TO A SPERM WHALE.”

“No!  NO!”  I drop to the ground and start crawling towards the bathroom, tears leaking down my cheeks.  “I don’t want to die!”

“NOT JUST YOU, KENT; YOUR ENTIRE WORLD.  OOH HOO HA HA!”

No options left, so I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Just as my asshole lurches open, my soul rips free of my body and flies into a whirl of aetheric slipstream.  Dimensions pass by in the blink of an eye, and then suddenly—

SHLOOP!

—I materialize in a haze-colored realm.  Everywhere I look, for as far as the eye can see, it’s beautiful Soccer Moms and spicy sausage entrees.

One of them smiles at me.  “Eat as much as you want for as long as you want, Kent.  You’ll never make another one of your disgusting food babies; the only thing you’ll excrete is rainbows and smell-good.”

“Wow…”  I look around in utter amazement.  “This is heaven, isn’t it?”

The Soccer Mom smiles.  “Close enough.  Now come here so I can get me some of your thick, upcurved wiener.”

I smile back.  “Gladly.”

If this isn’t heaven, then I don’t give a damn.

Because just like she said, it’s close enough.

😀

 

 

Have you eaten too much ass-fuel, and now threaten the existence of humanity?  Never fear!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜

Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

Butt stuff.

It’s everywhere.  It used to be seen as forbidden fruit, but now it’s crept into our collective consciousness.  Ever done it?  I know you’ve thought about it.  It lurks over every conversation, every moment of our butt-centric lives.  Everyone loves butts.  Which brings me to my current predicament…

 

Martha Stewart draws her three-foot dildo longsword (+5 against Man Whores, + 3 against all others), and flips it upside down so she’s pointing the blade at my exposed rectum.

“ALWAYS WANTED TO TRY THIS!” she yells.  “IT’S ALL THE RAGE THESE DAYS!”

“No!” I blubber.  “Please—you only paid me to do a juggling routine with my pendulous nuts!  I didn’t sign on for this!”

I try to get up, but she kicks me in the tailbone, making me bend back over her fair-trade, artisan-crafted, tree-trunk tabletop.  “DON’T PEE ON MY TABLE, KENT!  IT WAS MADE BY A SEXUALLY AMBIGUOUS HUMAN NAMED STARFALL, WHICH RAISES ITS VALUE BY A FACTOR OF TEN!  HOLD STILL AND RELAX YOUR SPHINCTER, ‘CAUSE THIS IS HAPPENING!  THIS IS DEFINITELY HAPPENING!”

No options left.  So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Steven Seagal—dressed in nothing but a speedo, knee-high boots, and a rich-sheened cape—flashes by Martha, lifting his arm and smearing pit-goo across her face.  He leaps onto her kitchen island counter and crouches like a gargoyle, fixing the Food Network goddess with his crazy-ass stare.

“My pit-goo can melt through titanium.  Get yourself to a hospital, Martha.”

“AH GOD!” she wails, sputtering and spitting.  “IT BURNS LIKE FIRE!  IT HURTS MY WILL TO LIVE!”  And then she runs out the door, screaming for help.

Steven fixes me with his unblinking stare.  “Don’t fuck with me.  Unless you want a faceful of soul-wilting pit-goo.”

He puts two fingers into his mouth, whistles, and leaps into the air.  A bionic unicorn streaks beneath him and he gallops off into the sunset.

Shaking my head.  Shaking my FUCKING head.

 

 

Is an enchanted dildo-sword about to plunge into the depths of your colon?  Never fear!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜

Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

There’s precious little you can do, if you’re ever stabbed with a red-ink pen by a dyed-in-the-wool Grammar Nazi.  Maybe watch your brains dribble out your ears and down to your chin, before they slop to the floor and collect into a gray-matter puddle.  Yep—you’re pretty much done-skies.

Can’t even enjoy one last jerk—grammar makes my dick into the fleshy equivalent of an over-boiled noodle.  Like trynna play pool with a goddamn rope.

And so here I am, hovering over my dead, Man Whore body, staring down at Grammar Nazi Prime as he laughs maniacally at me.  What a cock.  He thinks I’m dead, but I’m really not.

An hour ago, I ingested a custom-engineered form of Datura Stramonium (otherwise known as Jimson’s Weed, the Haitian zombie root), to put me into a death-like trance.  (I also ate some beast-ass ribeyes to counteract his pansy-ass red-ink poison).  This dickhead doesn’t think a damn thing of it; he’s too busy crowing over my unconscious body.

Unbeknownst to  him, the Datura is responsive to my prefrontal cortex.  If I decide to, I can still control my body’s gross motor functions.  It may not respond as fast, but he has no idea of the dickstomping danger that lies at his feet.

I order my body to reach into its pocket, withdraw an eReader, and open it to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

The Cock of Legend flops out of my pants, twitching and spasming like a giant sea-creature in the throes of electrocution.  The Grammar Nazi, who’s unused to seeing any genitalia longer than 0.3587 inches long, screams in horror.  He clutches his head and bangs against the walls, voicing a low, constant moan:  “No no no no NO NO NO!!!”  His entire body starts vibrating; he drops to the floor and then he—

SPLOOOTCH!

—blows apart into a filthy mess of blood and guts.  GROSS.

But I can’t say  he didn’t deserve it.  Ha HA!  That’s what you get for trying to kill me with your disgusting red ink!  BOOYAH!

😀

 

Do you need to pull some Batman-level switcheroo on one of your mortal effin’ enemies?  Never fear!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜