Give my books a read and a review!

What the fart-standoff is happening, all my fellow innocents who’ve been trapped in the hellish confines of a long elevator ride as some dastard in your midst silently lets loose with a face-melting hiss of skin-eating gas, everyone’s trying to remain stoic but then they all start coughing and gagging, someone fans their face while screaming, “It smells like Gollum if you dipped him in DICK SAUCE!” no one can pretend anymore you all eye each other with increasing tension, then everyone quick-draws nine-mils and it’s a goddamn standoff worthy of early Tarantino or hey-day John Woo, holy fuck it just went from zero to a hundred you can’t back down now because it was you all along, it’s too late to admit it WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE—

And THAT, my friends, is why you make good and damn sure you take your morning shit!  Now you’re stuck in a 90s action movie, about to die in a slow-motion firefight!  Jesus Christ, man!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy:  A Door into Evermoor.  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #WritingCommunity

🙂 🙂 😀


Check out my sci-fi series: Echo!

Echo is where I started my writing journey. The series has four books, and is filled with musings on society and existence, along with big doses of violence (especially in book 2) as well as psychic stuff and existential philosophy (book 3 and 4). You can see me get a firmer grip on dialogue, description, action, perspective, and symbolism as you progress through the series. #WritingCommunity

Here’s the link: Echo.

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor. Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀    

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜   #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommunity

Musings

A lot of people assume that “working what you have” is a curse to become like Andy Dufresne—digging your way out of prison a millimeter at a time.

But I’ve found that when I work with what I have, someone/thing comes along and replaces my rock hammer with a sledge hammer, then a jackhammer, than an excavator…eventually, I’m barely doing any work.

It could be a result of faith/hope, it could simply be dumb, random luck. (Hell, a lot of the time, I’m resigned to my doom if I’m being perfectly honest.) But unless there are ethical considerations, you can’t expect me to turn down tools and opportunities—that defeats the purpose of hoping for better.

Check out my first YA Fantasy book: A Door into Evermoor!

Check out my first venture into YA fantasy!  Jon’s a regular Earth kid who wants something more.  After he stumbles through an interdimensional portal, his wishes are granted in spectacular fashion!  During his journey, he encounters a Wolven King and an Elerican Witch, the last Wayfarer, and a half-Elf Princess!  All this and more in A Door into Evermoor! #WritingCommunity

Check it out here: A Door into Evermoor.

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!🙂 🙂 😀

Yet another weird ad for my novels

IN A WORLD WHERE GRAMMAR NAZI PRIME, IS JUDGE, JURY, AND EXECUTIONER…

Grammar Nazi Prime sneers at me from atop his podium.  “And so, Kent Wayne, you have been found guilty of violating Grammatical Law, for writing stories aimed at spectacle and wonder, with nary a regard for who and whom, they’re and their, and countless other staples of grammar.  What say you, you prolific piece of inventive shit?”

As I rise to my feet, my chair scrapes the deck.  In the pin-drop silence, it sounds deafeningly loud.  “Your honor…”  I study the floor with downcast eyes.  “Ever since I have put pen to paper, I have agonized over the consequences of my actions.”  I lift my gaze, fixing GNP with a steely glare.  “You have seen fit to end my life.  But I have one last secret to reveal to the world—a secret that will make you reconsider your decision.  A secret that will make you question reality, and everything you purport to hold dear to your heart.”

Grammar Nazi Prime steeples his fingers.  “Make it quick.”

“Very well.”  I take a deep, steadying breath…then reach down my pants, whip out my wiener, and slam it down on top of the desk.  THUNK.  There it sits like a yule log cake, capped by monster glans as big as Darth Vader’s helmet.

Everyone stares in stunned silence.

Someone screams, “He’s a national treasure!”  And:  “Good God, those veins look DELICIOUS!”  Along with the storm of thirsty exclamations, there’s a fair amount of folks who don’t say a thing; they simply gargle like Homer Simpson. 

“Order in the court!”  The judge bangs his gavel several times, wiping the drool from his mouth with the back of his hand.  “Order, I say!  I don’t give a damn about its magnificence or beauty, ORDER IN THE COURT!”  He slams the block with unrestrained force, causing it to jump and flip onto the ground.

No one’s listening. They’re all moving toward me, fixated on my giant hog.  It’s a double-edged sword—the bailiffs can’t reach me, but the mob can.  Dozens of folks are trundling forward, single mindedly intent on gobbling my wiener.

“Get.  OFF!”  I shove one away, kick another in the gut, and shoulder-check the mass of dickmatyzed bodies, trying to force my way through their tightening ranks.  Slowly but surely, they drag me down to the floor.

Fuck it.  No options left.  So I reach in my pocket and open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Windows blow inward, followed by a stream of super athletic soccer moms.  They start beating peoples’ asses and shoving them away.  In less than a minute, they’ve cleared enough space for one of them to sling me onto her back.

“Thank God!” I gasp.  “They were about to tear me limb from limb!”  I cast a brief glance around at the badass moms.  Man—they are HOT!  Do it, Kent—shoot your shot!  “Say…” I clear my throat as the lady beneath me leaps into a turning side kick.  “Any of you guys interested in dinner at the Olive Garden?  Afterward, we could watch Voltron 84…”  (It’s my go-to ask—no one can resist Voltron and Olive Garden!)

“Shut up,” a soccer mom hisses.  “You think we’re interested in your lame-ass date night?  We’re gonna use you like a cheap piece of meat on sale at Costco, so spare us your amateur Casanova bullshit!”

I almost retort with something snippy, but I bite it back just in time.  Use my body like a cheap piece of meat?  Yes please!  HEH heh heh! 

Kent Wayne wins again!  😀

Have you been sentenced to death by a finger-wagging douche?  A guy whose wiener is ten times smaller than the world’s smallest clit?  Never fear!  Buy my books and get the hell out of Dodge! Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor. Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommuni

Check out my high school absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! (Yes, I know “absurdical” is a made up word)

Idiot demon-jocks, tons of profanity, copious psychedelics, and an airborne kiss at 300 mph, hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha!  All this and more in my comedy/horror/sci-fi absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl!  #WritingCommunity

Check it out here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor. Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited 

A Door into Evermoor; By Kent Wayne

Cheryl gives A Door into Evermoor a wonderful review! Thank you, Cheryl!

Cornucopia the legacy

The writing is fast flowing, i love the use of the dimensions and shifts into other realms through the structure of the narrative, a lot of the expressions are set as the conflicts that many seem are around fitting into society! I found The Door into Evermoor is a lot faster paced, full of links to movies and the Dungeons and dragons, full of illiteration references to a variety of console realms and games as structural foundations to learning! A true reflection of tomboy and Princes fan focus from the 80’s showing a love of all things loved by those growing up in the prime of game development and consoles!

“You were right, Aitrya You were right about it all! There are other world’s than these,

And i wouldn’t have it any other way!”

The prologue says it all the wonderful name of Jon Dough a nameless kid from San…

View original post 211 more words

Today is the LAST day a Door into Evermoor, my YA fantasy, is FREE on Kindle!

Today is the LAST day my YA fantasy, A Door into Evermoor, is FREE on Kindle!  Come get you some portal story adventure with a magic revolver named Ailura Qartesi, Elerican Witches and Sytishi Whisper Folk! #WritingCommunity

Check it out here: A Door into Evermoor.

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!🙂 🙂 😀

For today and tomorrow, a Door into Evermoor, my YA fantasy, is FREE on Kindle!

For today and tomorrow, my YA fantasy, A Door into Evermoor, is FREE on Kindle!  Come get you some portal story adventure with a magic revolver named Ailura Qartesi, Elerican Witches and Sytishi Whisper Folk! #WritingCommunity

Check it out here: A Door into Evermoor.

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!🙂 🙂 😀

My YA fantasy, a Door into Evermoor, is FREE on Kindle through 8/5!

My YA fantasy, A Door into Evermoor, is FREE on Kindle through 8/5!  Come get you some portal story adventure with a magic revolver named Ailura Qartesi, Elerican Witches and Sytishi Whisper Folk! #WritingCommunity

Check it out here: A Door into Evermoor.

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!🙂 🙂 😀