What the boner-break is happening, all you horned-up fools who’ve gotten back into bed with your scheming ex, suddenly, while plundering their holes with zest and aplomb, they snap your wiener with a flex of their orifice, then run out the door while cackling with glee, you stare down in horror at your once-mighty womb-hammer, tears streaming from your eyes as you beg it to stay with you, it coughs weakly as you call 911 but the connection sucks, so they don’t know what you’re saying and out of an abundance of caution they summon the fire department, a SWAT team, and—as a ridiculously nonsensical cherry on top—Chuck fucking Norris, you try and argue with the dispatcher but your door blows in, they rip half your house off the studs and beams, then Chuck runs up to your bed clad in 80s-style denim (with a requisite pair of ripped-off sleeves), pointing and laughing at yer no-good, weak-sauce, commie-loving worm-penis causing everyone and their mother to burst into raucous guffaws—

And THAT, my friends, is why you never hook up with your low-down ex!  Believe you me, they’ve planned on destroying your boner for at least a year!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy:  A Door into Evermoor.  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀