What the Karen Rage is happening, all my fellow-minded, mind-thy-own-business mofos who have been struck by an out-of-left-field, passive-aggressive Hadouken from an undersexed, fruitcake-gifting daemon who rules the PTA with an iron goddamn fist and now you can’t sleep ’cause you’re grinding your teeth in sheer fucking rage so you leap outta bed and ninja your way over to their unguarded doorstep where you drop trou and unleash a giant, burrito-sized shit which dilates your colon like a fifty-pound baby and Jesus CHRIST does it feel good as your veins bulge and your eyes bug out and you unleash a roar with the unrelenting fury of a thousand exploding suns “RUAAAAHHHH—”
No dude, NO! Do NOT leave a log-sized dook on your local Karen’s doorstep! If you gotta de-stress, go join a jiu-jitsu gym or something! Nasty nasty NASTY!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books! My newest book is a YA fantasy, informed by my nerdish childhood where I fervently hid the fact that I played Dungeons and Dragons (to be honest, we never got past the character creation phase and ended up playing Magic or video games) and tried to bluff my fellow high-schoolers into thinking I wasn’t a virgin! Check out Volume 1 of the Unbound Realm here: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with a big ol’ heaping of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! Don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!
🙂 🙂 😀
It can’t be denied. Thou art a master of catching attention.
Maybe different ‘sounds’ and rhythms but Frank Zappa’s style lives on.
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Haha! Thank you! Books are a big time commitment for the reader, so I gotta be careful in keeping things tight, but ads are a chance to try and Jackson Pollock my writing.
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🤣🤣🤣 Darn, I was really hoping that the advice was that it was okay I could go leave a giant steaming pile in a neighbor’s yard the next time they went Karen on one of my son’s therapists, but then you had to go and dial it back…😈😉🤣
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It’s still an option! Make sure you wear a poncho and a ninja mask to hide your features! 🤣
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🤣 I might joke, but my real life Karen management strategies involve making sure they are the only ones to face consequences or fall out for their assholery…and I feel that even a poncho and a ninja mask might not be enough to suffice to ensure that 😂
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With all this recent Karen awareness in the last two years, there’s gotta be a sitcom or movie on the subject…😂
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There’s already a host of memes, and I did see a funny YouTube video on Karens …yeah, honestly, it can be shocking to discover this doesn’t just happen in videos that go viral, that people really can get that nasty in real life… A theatrical homage would be appropriate😁
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That homage part should be read with a sarcastic mental tone of voice, BTW…
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Wondering whether it should have a disaster or horror movie vibe…🤔😂🤣😂
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Either one of those genres, as long as there was an element of comical farce, could be appropriate 😁😂
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Karen vampires that make more Karens! FUCK! 😂 😂
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🤣🤣🤣 that’s a hilarious idea! My day needed the image of vampire Karen’s running amok😂
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I picture fleeing in a car, swerving from side to side while one clings to the roof and squawks about managers. 😂😂😂
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In my version, at least one of them needs to be shrieking at a therapist pulled over at the side of the road a couple blocks from my house to take a phone call, telling that person that they don’t look like they belong in that area, accuses them of lying about working in the area, and threatening to call the police. Because some times the best art imitates real life….
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It’s only a suspicion, but I KNOW they’re the ones who gift fruitcakes! Who else could it be??? After a scooby doo-esque goose-chase, the police should realize the Karens are the perps, then find a shitload of fruitcakes in their trunks! 🤣
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I am totally laughing at that, because fruit cake isn’t my favorite. But for the sake of fruitcake lovers everywhere, I do have to say that my grandmother loved fruit cake, and she was probably one of the kindest, most loving people I have ever known. She was an army nurse during world war II, and I lived with her some when I was a kid. I watched her open her door to every neighbor who needed something, she would give daily insulin shots to neighbors who couldn’t handle doing it themselves, and countless other kind things. So not every lover a fruit cakes is a Karen. Just saying because I feel like I have to for the sake of the love I have for my sweet, long departed fruit cake loving grandmother. 😂
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Interesting! I’ll pull back on my fruitcake prejudices, LOL! Still—even though I may not judge immediately, gifting fruitcake is gonna raise my suspicions! 😂
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My grandmother has given me fruit cake before, when she was still alive. I inwardly groaned, but I outwardly hugged and kissed her cheek and told her that I loved her. You can certainly hold on to your suspicions, but sometimes you just have to consider the source. If the person loves fruit cake, they just might think everybody could appreciate it as much as them if they gave it a chance…😂
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Noted! I’m probably guilty of profiling my fair share of fruitcake-givers! 😂
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