What the bdussy soup is happening, all you filthy bags of bath-flavoring that are marinating in a tub of heated glop-water that’s seasoned by your juice-emanating free-gaping slurm-spewing holes, the simmering nastiness suddenly roils and churns, holy shit what the fuck before you can jump out an evil clone of you forms from the muck, pins you in place with its red-glowing eyes, declares, “I AM RISEN,” before sprouting dozens of tentacles from its desiccated mouth and entangling you in a snarl of gunk-woven skeins, you manage to grab your bathroom shotgun because you’re one of those crazy-ass home defense freaks—click-clack BOOM, click-clack BOOM—but it’s no use, Bath Stew You is nigh invulnerable, tears leak from your eyes as you realize it’s the motherfucking end, and for no other reason than it’s fitting, you start singing the climax to the theme from Requiem for a Dream—

And THAT, my friends, is why you stick to the goddamn shower!  Not only is it cleaner, you don’t have to fight off a bdussy-formed impostor that wants to eat your heart and shit on your soul!  Jesus!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀