What the Fart Pact is happening, all you covenant-breakers who’re sitting in a group of mildly-well-acquainted folks who are all wrinkling their noses and pretending not to notice because one of you—ONE OF YOU—just tried to sneak a silent one past the group but it fell fucking short and now all of you are trying not to claw at your throats and gasp-whisper, “It kills, it kills,” but you decide it’s silly, these people need to stop being a bunch of uptight pearl-clutchers so you lift a leg, flex your sphincter, and—
BEEEOOOORRRR
—cut loose with a beefer that would make Gimli at Helm’s Deep stop mid horn-blow and murmur, “By the Mountains of Thrainor,” but it doesn’t have the intended effect, people break down crying or thrashing and twitching in mouth-foaming seizures, guns snap up and movie-red lasers dance across your face you raise your hands and scream, “YOU ALL WANTED TO TRY IT—I JUST HAD THE BALLS TO ACTUALLY DO IT, YOU PIECE OF SHIT COWARDS” they’re calling you beast, animal, you’re a goddamn traitor to peace and humanity—
Control those sphincter muscles, you sociopathic deathbringer! Jesus fucking Christ—why would you want to speed up the goddamn apocalypse?!?
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm. Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback. I’ve just published volume 2: Weapons of Old If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
🙂 🙂 😀
Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha 
This is a hell of a post to introduce your books lol! I love it!
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My daughter says, her brains go down to her bum 🤣
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I have two brains. One is at bum level 🤣
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I don’t think I want to know the bum one 🤣
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I think you DO want to know it, but you don’t want to say that you want to know it 🤣
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Ehh, you know that I want to know what I don’t want to know …
I seem to have lost all the other comments
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I think I know what you’re talking about 😏🤣
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I want to know what you think you know 🤣
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Perving out on my thoughts, eh? 🤣
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You have pervy thoughts 🤔 🤣
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The perviest 😏🤣
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Perviest is debatable 🤣
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Are you pervier than me? 🤣
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Why? You want to compare notes? 🤣
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Maybe we could have a “who’s perviest?” competition 🤣
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Ooh I don’t mind a challenge. I hope you’re up for it 🤣
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I look forward to your perviness 🤣
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I’m innocence personified. What is perv? 🤣
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Didn’t you want to beat me in a perviness competition? 🤣
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Oh I have a big mouth 🤣
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My spouse is a published Novelist (Not self-published, a real publisher), and she understands the importance of reviews, but she also knows that getting them can be difficult. It is like asking 100 people if they like lasagna. No matter how good it is, someone will not like it, and that person will be the one to rate it 1-star.
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Sometimes it’s someone who just isn’t ready to appreciate it. I know that I’ve been lukewarm on movies during the first watch, then enjoyed them more the second time around.
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