What the pissing contest is happening, all you urinary warriors who find yourself facing off against your penile archnemesis at the most primal of arenas (side-by-side urinals), it’s off to the races, you start with a moderate stream, he matches it, you increase 10 PSI, he matches it, 10 more PSI, he matches it, sweat beads off your brow, your eyes crinkle with focus, slowly but surely you turn your head and lock eyes with your foe, good God your forceful piss sounds like a cross between a typhoon and a tsunami, suddenly “Duel of the Fates” starts playing from the first shitty prequel and you’re swinging your dick like a goddamn lightsaber, you can’t help but make lightsaber noises with your mouth as both of you try to whack each other—BZZRT, SSST, FSHHHHH—you can’t let him win, you need to defend the honor of your precious phallus—

What in the FUCK?  Put your cock down, and take up a hobby like chess or gardening!  Jesus fucking Christ!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀