What the dickfire is happening, all you lazy-pubed trimmers who go for a run in the deep peaceful forest, you’re surrounded by chirping birds and wide-eyed critters who charm you with their cute little squeaks, suddenly smoke wafts up from the legs of your shorts, it’s coming from the friction of your skin against your unkempt pubes, embers fly out in torrents of sparks, holy fuck leaves and twigs are catching on fire, the picturesque scenery turns into an ocean of hellfire, it’s no longer an easy relaxing trail run it’s a goddamn sprint for your motherfucking life, as you flee the inferno bat-winged demons emerge from the char and sear the heavens with burning contrails, out of nowhere the Satanic-sounding part of “O Fortuna” rings through the air—

That’s why you trim your pubes, goddammit!  Walk around the woods with an armload of crotch-tinder, and the next thing you know you’ve opened the ninth gate to hell!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀