“And so, Kent Wayne, on all 3,874,932 grammar violations, as well as the crime of peeing in the shower, we find you…GUILTY!”  Predictably, the entire courtroom (also comprised of narrow-penised Grammar Nazis), erupts in raucous jeers and hurrahs. 

“We all pee in the shower!” I rage.  “WE ALL DO IT!”

The courtroom breaks out in excited murmurs.  After a moment of energized debate, the judge bangs his gavel.  “Order in the court!”

Everyone quiets down.

“Fine.”  He points his gavel right at my mug.  “You have a point.  However, that doesn’t negate the fact that you’ve shat on the foundation of society and literature.”

“You mean GRAMMAR?”  An ugly caw erupts from my lips.  “People like my writing because it makes them FEEL!  How long since you felt a goddamn thing, aside from the pedantic satisfaction of red-inking soulless essays, in a back-and-forth game of ‘gotcha’ where your ultimate goal is to arrive at ‘I told you so?’  You pencil-dicked piece of finger-wagging—”

The jawline-devoid judge slams his gavel against the block, hitting it so damn hard that it jumps around like an electrified limb.  “Order in the court!  ORDER IN THE COURT!”  His lips tremble as he points at me again.  “I sentence you, Kent Wayne, to a torture-enforced session of correcting grammar-faulty essays.  Once you have lost all love of writing, the court shall proceed with public castration and grotesque execution, whereupon you will be pummeled to death with your own freakishly prothagonous genitalia.  Bailiff, take him away!”

“What?  No!”  I thrash in place, ripping free of my cuffs.  “You want my blood?  COME AND TAKE IT!  RUAAAAHHHH!!!” 

Grammar Nazis charge in human waves, swamping me with a sea of muscle-tone-deprived bodies.  I hip-toss one, grab another by the neck and slam him to the ground with an old-school DDT, then immediately squirt up and start throwing hands.  Jab cross hook, buckle a leg, clinch and knee, then soccer-punt a couple of them right in the nuts.  That’s a mistake—these fuckers have little to no testicular mass; their scrotums are as empty as their black-hearted souls. 

“Ha!” one of them snarls.  “Didn’t factor in our lack of balls, did ya?”

I blurt, “You got me there, I really didn’—” before they dogpile my ass and force me to the ground.  Mother of FUCK!

Fuck it.  No options left.  So I reach in my pocket and open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash. 

My dick untucks from my sock, unwinds from around my thigh, and rips free of my pants.  It thrashes to and fro, chucking Grammar Nazis off me and flinging them into the walls and ceiling.  I rise and level my wiener at the horde, hefting it by my waist like a super-veiny firehose. 

The lead Grammar Nazi extends his arms, hands out in a placating gesture.  “Just…just calm down, Kent.  We can still—” 

“Hope you like your cum like I like my peanut butter,” I rasp.

He goes blank with surprise.  “What?”

“Chunky.” 

With that declaration, I envelop my enemies in the foulest ejaculate you could ever imagine.  A bunch of them wail and stumble around, coughing up organs and screaming in disgust.  Others get launched through courtroom walls, breaking apart studs and crumbly drywall.  Several try and flee through a door, but I turn the hose on em and they pile up against it, unable to move because of the pressure.  After a couple seconds of screaming and begging, I increase the flow, forcing the wood to buckle, break, and give way to a deluge of Grammar Nazi assholes, carried on a tsunami-strength tide of Sheer Fucking Gross. 

Kill me if you want, but make it quick you sadistic fucks—don’t inundate me with a bunch of grammar-correcting bullshit.  Otherwise, get ready to reap the smelly-cummed whirlwind!

Kent Wayne wins again!

😀

Have you been sentenced to castration and death by an entire courtroom of narrow-penised fools?  Never fear!  Buy my books, magically weaponize your gorgeous genitals, and inundate them with a flood of putrid-ass gametes! 

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

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