What the cum-dagger is happening, all you gross-ass beasts who splooge into the same damn sock for weeks on end, until it resembles a mythical crystal dagger that unlocks the secrets of the universe when placed into a magical groove in an ancient temple, suddenly you hear a click downstairs followed by muffled whispers, the steps creak under several pairs of feet, your door cracks open and three hooligans enter brandishing guns, swearing up and down that someone’s home and they saw a light in your room, where the fuck could you be they just saw you a goddamn second ago, unbeknownst to them you’re spread-eagled on the ceiling, clutching your cum-dagger and staring down at their heads, the second one says it doesn’t matter where you went, there’s three of them here, you’re outnumbered and cornered, to which you rasp, “I’m not trapped in here with you, you’re trapped in here with ME!” then drop onto the closest one’s back and stab his eyes with your cum-dagger, as he’s screaming for his mom and clutching the air, you spin around, slice his partner’s throat, then jam the crusty sock into the last one’s mouth and whirl into a 540 jump-spin-hook kick, smashing the shit out of his jaw and shattering the cum-crystals in his mouth which causes his eyes to go red with burst blood vessels, as he drops to his knees you loom over him and declare, “Anyone home? Guess not. Light’s out, motherfucker.” What do you know—hitting a double 80s one-liner that references the fact that they saw someone home and a turned-on light, combined with a dose of cartoonish martial arts violence, somehow triggers a rock-hard erection! Time to start building a new cum-sock/dagger!
THAT, my friends, is why you don’t wash your cum-sock until it’s hardened into a lethal crystalline weapon! Never know when you gotta take out some amateur criminals!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm. Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback. I’ve just published volume 2: Weapons of Old If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
🙂 🙂 😀
Hi there I tried to download your book when it was offered for free. I can’t download books in my country.
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What country?
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Those unwashed socks are so true wherever boys, males? are involved.. ewww… 😫
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One time I accidentally ruined a piece of carpet. After I tried to fix it, it looked like it grew a bald spot 🤣
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What? How did you manage that 🤔🤣🤣. Your body parts 🤦♀️.
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I got lazy and didn’t use the sock! 🤣
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Ewww pret.. 🤐🤐. What the 🤦♀️🤦♀️. You don’t fail to amaze.
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I was a teenager! I deserve forgiveness! 🤣
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Forgive for purposely being a lazy teen who…. ? 🤣
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Forgive my lazy adult self! 🤣
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I hope the lazy adult does not use socks or damage the carpet 🤣
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I have laminate flooring. Definitely not going to carpet over it! 🤣
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That’s a subtle way of saying I have a nice house, I’m lazy cleaning or any such thing 🤣
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That’s all right. Let’s make it dirty! 🤣
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You want to dirty it? 🤣
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I do! Let’s get it all sweaty and crusty! 🤣
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Use chocolate, easy to clean and tasty too 🤣
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Anything else you’d like to add? Maybe some cream? 🤣
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Cream, that would be too much sugar unless you’re talking about the salty one 🤣
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You have pretty specific tastes 🤔🤣
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Are you complaining? I thought you’d prefer specifics 🤣
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Not complaining at all! Tell me all your specifics! 🤣
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Are you ready for a long list, we need space 🤣
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Space, nutrients, hydration! 🤣
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You seem to have everything ready, when, where? 🤣
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I’m thinking the Maldives 🤣
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Oooh you have exotic taste 🥰😅. The where is done, the when? 🤣
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We’ll leave that up to existence. I believe it will signal us with a strategically placed tingle! 🤣
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Oh my gosh🤣. I think the signal works anytime 🤣
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Tingling a lot, eh? 🤣
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Now you’re reminding me of the song ‘Jingle bell rocks ‘ , jingle bell and rocks 🤣🤣
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Too many tingles and you’ll burst into song! 🤣
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Don’t forget dancing, we need rhythm 🤣
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You like hard and fast or hard and slow? 🤣
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There must be others too besides these 🤣
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We’ll get a metronome and see which tempo you like best 🤣
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Would that be a necessity? Experimenting and exploration is better, no? 🤣
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True! We have to explore every ridge, every hole! 🤣
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How many holes are we talking about? 🤣
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How many would you like me to explore? 🤣
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I think we’d need to sit down and discuss further 🤣
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Discuss or explore? You want to sit on my lap? 🤣
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I guess this is where multi-tasking is possible 🤣
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Enjoyable, too! 🤣
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Is it? I don’t know, I’ve no experience 🤣
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You might have to simulate it by yourself! 🤣
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Simulation still requires some form of assistance you know 🤣
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I’m a great assistant 😏🤣
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You say that but I’ve not seen any proof as yet 🤣
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Proof can be exhausting! 🤣
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How do I test this exhaust 🤣
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Come to San Diego and find out! 🤣
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Is that an invitation? That’s quite a hole in my pocket just for a test unless you send me a ticket 🤣.
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How much is the ticket? 🤔🤣
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Are you sponsoring 🤣. Let me win the lottery and give you a test you’ll never forget 🫣🤣
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I play the lottery too! Once either of us win, the test shall commence! 🤣
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And we’ll wait forever 🤣. I think you’re the lottery 😅
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Where do you want your jackpot? 🤣
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Which place fits best? 🤣
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We can try out a bunch of them. 🤣
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There are a bunch? I think that one thing could be bunch size? 🤣
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Definitely bunch-size. I would say plural: bunchES. 🤣
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Huh, bunches? My curiosity is peaking 🤣
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A lot of things are peaking 🤣
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What things are peaking? Quench my curiosity 🤣
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You thirsty? I’ll quench it for sure! 🤣
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Parched infact 🤭. Unsure if you have the capacity 🤣
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What if YOU don’t have the capacity? What if it all leaks out? 🤣
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I guess capacity calls for a trial and can be adjusted. Leaking can always be sorted out 🤣
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As Cardi B says, bring a mop and a bucket! 🤣
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Ewww 🤣. I think the mop and bucket is already in place 🫣🤣
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Then you’re ready for wetness! 🤣
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🤣🤣.. your mop too 🫢🫢🤣
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We’ll need two mops? 🤣
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You have two? 🤣
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How many do we need? 🤣
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We may need extras? 🤣
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Multiples, some might say 🤣
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I hope you don’t over promise and under deliver 🤣
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Guess we’ll just have to hammer the point home! 🤣
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I need that hammer 🤣
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You’re a fan of the hammering, eh? 🤣
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😱😱. Yet to find out 🤣
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You sound like you’re open to it! 🤣
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Who’s opening? 🤣
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Does it matter? Open up! 🤣
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I think it’s locked 🤫🤣
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There’s gotta be a key around here somewhere…🤣
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Is it? I’ve not found the one as such 🤣
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Maybe I have it on me! 🤣
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If you do, then something has to be done 🤣
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What are you gonna do? 🤣
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Shouldn’t you ask yourself that 🤣
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I know what I would do. 😏 I have a vast array of moves! 🤣
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I want to see the moves 🤣
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You need to show me some of your moves as well! 🤣
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My moves, I thought you were doing the moving 🤣
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We’ll have to move together! 🤣
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I guess that means practice? 🤣
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Lots of repetition! 🤣
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Repetition shouldn’t lead to boredom 🤣
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It might lead to soreness! 🤣
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Oooh we need fun distractions then, got ideas 🤣
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You should give me a massage! 🤣
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Oh you need one? 🤣
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You can massage me whenever you like! 🤣
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Hmmmm, where? Those massages should not lead to exhaustion 🤣
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Just let your hands wander 🤣
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Wandering and wondering play 🤣.
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Wondering about where your hands might wander? 🤣
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Well I’m wondering where to wander 🤣
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I’m wondering what you’re wondering about 🤣
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You want to know my wandering mind or feel the wandering 🤫🤣
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Both 😏🤣
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Oh! 🤣. Guess we need to ‘work out’ together 🤣
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Lots of hip thrusts! 🤣
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I have to learn that? 🤣
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I’m sure you’ll be a natural! 🤣
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You’re that confident with my skills 🤣
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Shouldn’t I be? 😏🤣
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Guess I should start practicing 🤔🤣
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Indeed! There’s going to be a lot of repetitive motion! 🤣
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Well, as long as the repetition leads to satisfaction 🤣
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Multiple satisfactions guaranteed! 🤣
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If unsatisfied, what’s the payback 🤣
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An extended follow-on effort! 🤣
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How much extension? 🤣
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Through the night, into the morning! 🤣
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That’s stretching a bit too much 🤣
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Maybe just a few times a night, then 🤣
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Got to see how that goes is it 🤣
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We’ll go as far as you want! 🤣
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What I want huh. Anything 🤔🤣
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Anything! 🤣
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You won’t mind if trouble comes in 🤣
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I think we both won’t mind, not one bit! 🤣
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Then we should think up some troubling ideas 🤣
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You’re a big fan of trouble trouble 😏🤣
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It’s full of fun imagination, you should try it, I can show you 🤣
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Show me! Videos and pics! 🤣
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The mind is better than videos and pics 🤣
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My mind needs help from videos and pics 🤣
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I’m sure your mind doesn’t need help, though they help 🤣
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I know you can help 😏🤣
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How do we start this help 🤣
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With a massage! 🤣
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That sounds good. I think I have aches 🤣
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Your parts ache, eh? 🤣
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You can ease the aches? 🤣
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I hope this cum dagger idea is theoretical rather than literal … but.. it is Kent Wayne so ….. 🤷♀️
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It’s why I never want carpet–cum daggers everywhere 🤣
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