What the Gollum Dick is happening, all you folks who are lounging in bed only to find a tiny shriveled ugly-cute wiener staring at you from the edge it’s got actual fucking hairs on the glans, just like on the dome of that ring-craving weirdo who had some weird jealousy dynamic going on between him and Sam for Frodo’s affection (come on Peter Jackson, we know you’re into some weird shit you had to dial back for the PG-13 rating), suddenly its pale rancid lips snarl at you with Smeagol-like fury what the FUCK this ain’t cute it’s straight-up UGLY time to put this thing in its place so you reach over and draw your cosplay replica of the short sword Sting and for good measure hum the LOTR main theme—Dah, daaah, deh deh DAAAAHHH—forcing the evil rotten worm-peen to cringe back and hiss in revulsion—

THAT, my friends, is why you keep a glowing short sword by your nightstand and practice singing the LOTR theme!  You never know when some creepy troglo-dick will accost you while you’re chilling in bed!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀