What the heinous anus is happening, all you rebellious savages who don’t shave your b-holes and cultivate a thriving forest that spawns multiple tribes of tiny humanoids who go to war with rocks and clubs, then slowly evolve into an industrialized civilization, rapidly discover quantum computing and brain-machine interfaces, holy shit they’ve constructed giant braids out of your scraggly butthairs, now they’re paving them with space-age metals and traversing their breadth in dimension-hopping vehicles powered by Kardashev-frameworked channeled white holes MOTHER OF GOD THEIR LEADER IS BROADCASTING A LIVE SPEECH IN FRONT OF A BURNING WHITE HOUSE POLITICIANS AND GENERALS ARE CUFFED AND KNEELING WHILE YOUR EVIL BUTT-HUMANOIDS ARE POINTING CANNONS AT THEIR HEADS—

And THAT, my friends, is why you give the ol’ b-hole a regularly scheduled weed-whacking!  You never know when civilizations will rise and fall in its puckered expanse, then outgrow their habitat and tyrannize Earth!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀