What the elevator-fart is happening, all you high-rise ascenders who like to play Russian roulette in a crowded elevator by slowly, EVER so slowly, letting up on the pucker and releasing a muted hiss of face-killing gas, only to suddenly lose control and let the cheeks start thwacking—pa-pap-pap PAP—inducing a moment of stunned silence, which quickly morphs into a raucous debate; breakfasts and morning shits are declared loudly and vociferously as components of the defendants’ gastrointestinal arguments, some rando produces a judge’s gavel and starts banging on the wall and adding to the clamor, weapons come out and now you’re caught in a melee between broadswords, morning stars, and an expandable dildo that doubles as a taser—

Jesus H fistfucking Christ!  You’re supposed to blame it on an invisible horse, doing that motorboating shit they do with their floppy-ass lips!  Don’t let it escalate into a fight that rivals the elevator brawl in Winter Soldier!  Come on!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀