What the orgy tension is happening, all you devoted Tolkien fans who break out in cold sweat whenever Frodo and Sam share an emotionally weighted, will-they-won’t-they look that seems to go on for all of eternity, holy shit they’ve introduced Gollum are they going to spit-roast that grody little cave-dweller and flood his cavities with hairy-footed sperm no dude NO power through the movie sweet fucking Jesus it’s the end of the trilogy Frodo’s waking up I guess we’re safe no wait they’re mobbing him on his bed what even IS THIS if somebody in the theater says “Weirdest boner ever” I am going to jump out of my seat and RUN LIKE FUCK—
Re-LAX! It’s a PG-13, somewhat family friendly movie! Come on, man—Peter Jackson was toying with your mind! Hobbits aren’t into blumpkins, charizarding, or Cleveland fucking steamers! Get your mind out of the motherfucking gutter!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm. Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor. I’ve just published volume 2: Weapons of Old If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
🙂 🙂 😀
Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha 
Wow, I never thought of LotR in such light….well, not those characters anyway! 😂
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The question popped up in my head numerous times while I was watching! 😅
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🤣
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You really scared me there for a second. 😱
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😅
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Hilarious! There was some heavy sexual tension between Frodo and Sam. Just sayin.
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I knew someone besides me noticed!
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I’ve been looking for some new reads! I’ll check you out! Heheh
Side note: I love LOTR and isn’t funny how we as humans feel the need to give fantasy creatures human societal constructs? Leave the fucking hobbits alone, they aren’t human, they are Hobbits haha great capture of attention!! Loved it! I’m going to check out Echo!
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Thanks! I hope it entertains! Yep, we’re serial anthropomorphizers!
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Assimilate!!
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beep boop, beep boop
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Most excellent… now, you shall do my bidding! Muahahaha
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Martha Stewart’s coming for me! Hide me somewhere! 🤣
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“Quick! Crawl under this blanket… she’ll never find you here…” innocence crossing her face. “Wait, isn’t that a bed?” He asks as he slides in… With a devilish smirk she smiles “I’ve now caught you in my web!” Rips off face to reveal…. MARTHA STEWART!!!
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Just don’t get frosting in my eyes or my hair! 🤣
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*makes mental note of torturing techniques
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I torture by teasing 😏
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…. Or pleasure techniques 😈
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I’m a lot of fun–I have girth and an upcurve and moves to go with em! 😉
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Martha staggers from the blow of your prowess and admits defeat as pleasure takes hold
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Until next time, Martha! I look forward to maowing down on your delicious frosting! 🤣
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🤣🤣🤣
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