“Farewell, Kent Wayne!” Grammar Nazi Prime, my long-time nemesis, cackles over the airplane speaker system. “Remember—it isn’t the fall that kills you…it’s the sudden stop!”
His goons grab hold and shove me out the door. I scream like a beeyotch as I plummet into the howling wind.
My wiener pokes out from my waistband, looking me dead in the eye. “What are we gonna do, Kent? WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?”
“I don’t know, Wiener! We’re completely fucked unless…”
I reach in my pocket and open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
FOOMP! Wiener’s foreskin reappears, stretching out above us into a disgusting, fleshy parachute. I grab onto the sides and guide us through the air.
“What the…” My fear drops away, replaced by wonderment and joy. “This is AMAZING!”
“A dream come true,” Wiener murmurs. “A dream come true.”
“Hey…” I scan the ground and spot Grammar Nazi Prime standing in a field, peering up at us with a pair of binoculars. “Let’s get some revenge.”
“What are you—oh.” By the tone of his voice, I can tell Wiener is smiling. “Let’s do it!”
I bank our foreskin-chute, arrowing in on Grammar Nazi Prime. He must have realized what we intend to do, because he stops looking and starts running. As we get closer, I can hear him screaming.
“No—NO! DEAR GOD N—”
Then we descend on his head, smothering his pitiful cries for help in a giant blanket of smelly dickskin.
That’s what you get for throwing me out of a plane! Ha HA!
Kent Wayne wins again!
Has your mortal enemy tried to give you an action-movie death? Never fear! Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
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