Ugh.  I used to be at the top of my game, servicing the finest of ladies with my upcurved thicky. 

Now I’m just a nameless sewer whore.

If you haven’t heard that phrase, it describes a Man Whore who caters to Karens.  I wish there was some other way to survive, but after Elon found a way to shrink my wiener using his cursed Science, this is all I’m left with.  Foul wizard!

Day after day, I listen to their description of televised megachurch and all things manager-related. 

Day after day, my will to live slips away. 

“Here’s your money, fucker.”  My latest Karen client throws a crumpled dollar bill at my dead-eyed face, followed by a handful of exact change—99 pennies.

“No tip?”  I know what’s coming but I have to ask.

“Bon apetit, sewer whore.”  She reaches in her purse, withdraws a fruitcake, and places it on my nightstand. 

They always give me fruit cakes.  Only a Karen would think that fruitcakes qualify as an acceptable gift.

After she leaves, my composure breaks.  Tears roll down my cheeks.  My shoulders shake in silent sobs.

Fuck this.  I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

An interdimensional gateway opens in my bedroom, filling the air with dreamy swells of slow-drift energy.  A beautiful, radiant figure steps out from the portal.

“Soccer Mom Prime!” I gasp.  “Why are you here?”

She gives me a smile with her glimmer-sheened lips.  “We can’t have you servicing Karens, silly.”  She waves her arm, releasing sparkling motes from the tips of her fingers.  They alight on my wiener and—

OhhhHHHHH SHIIIITTT

—it flops to the floor and curls around my ankle, once again restored to its original size. 

“There you go.”  Her smile grows wider.  “Now let’s put that upcurved thicky to good use, shall we?”

Hot damn!  Kent Wayne wins again!  Ha HA!

😀

 

Has Elon musk turned you from a noble courtesan into a lowdown sewer whore?  Never fear!  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited