Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

The blank page beckons.  And I heed its call.

Or DO I?

FORTY-EIGHT HOURS LATER, AFTER SEVENTEEN EJACULATIONS, THREE STUFFED CRUST PIZZAS, AND A MARATHON SESSION OF STANNING TAYLOR SWIFT’S INSTAGRAM…

Urgghh…think I’ve ruined my balls.  Not a single sperm left within their wrinkled folds…God, Taylor…why do you insist on giving me boners…

I belly-crawl across the floor, moaning piteously as I lurch forward an inch at a time.  Urgh.  Urgh.  URGH.  Never jerked off this much before…how am I s’posed to write if I can barely move or stay awake…

My computer flashes with an ad for a site:  MyFriendsHotMom dot com.

Oh NO!

My right hand starts creeping toward my waistband.  I grab it with my left, stopping it in its tracks for a nerve-rending second, but then it keeps going, slowly but steadily honing in on my dick.

If I don’t do something soon, it’s off to another jerk-sesh of epic proportions.  I’ll end up withered and desiccated, like a goddamn pharaoh, or Mickey Rourke’s face.  Must…stop…MASTURBATING…

My hand pulls a fast one:  it slaps me twice across the face—pa-pap-PAP—then darts into my pants and grabs my hardening dick.  FUCK!

Only one option left.  I grab my eReader and open it to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Steven Seagal bursts through my wall, rolling across the floor in a leopard-print speedo.  He stops in front of me and holds his fingers up to my nose.

“Smell,” he says in a deadpan voice.  “It’s grease from my neckbeard.”

What?  How would that—

CHRIST ALMIGHTY THAT STINKS!   BLUUURRRGH!!!

My boner instantly shrivels into a tiny, stunted nub.  Seagal nods at me, then runs out the hole he made in the wall.  I curl my knees up to my vomit-coated chest, unsure of whether I should be thankful or traumatized.

Neckbeard grease—GROSS!

Have your genitals taken control of your hand?  Are you in danger of wasting countless hours jerking your ween or flicking your bean?  Never fear!  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited

4 thoughts on “Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

  1. I have no idea what I just read but it was amusing and I got a laugh outta it. Sadly I do not have a kindle, more of a preference in all honesty for paper books, but I read some of your sample of Echo Volume I and found it interesting. Best of luck with your future writing endeavors, both as an author and a…if I may say…zany crazy blogger.

    Liked by 1 person

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