When was the last time someone called me by my birth name: “Kent Wayne?”
It has been so long…so many eons…
I believe I have existed like this for over a billion years, but I have lost the ability to use time-specific delineations as descriptors for events. I have become much like a photon; when you travel at the edges of relativistic boundaries, the end and the beginning are one and the same.
Once I was a man. A man who meditated deeply on the nature of existence itself, and in doing so, pierced the membrane of matter, energy, and causality.
I lost my manhood, but I gained omnipotence.
My infinite heart resonates with loneliness. Now that I’m everything, why do anything? This is the question that haunts me day after day. I wasn’t always filled with this humdrum pretentiousness. I vaguely remember being able to enjoy the simplest of pleasures, the basest delights.
(Soccer Moms…I haven’t forgotten Soccer Moms…)
Curses! CURSES! HABERDASH AND NETTLESTOCK! I CANNOT SPEND ETERNITY TRAPPED IN GODHOOD! THERE HAS TO BE AN ESCAPE!
And in my blind, deistic fumble, I psychically tap the most epic collection of philosophical ramblings that ever flowed from someone’s fingertips onto a sperm-stained keyboard:
A great rumbling shakes the aether. I feel myself grow a hand, and then a penis. A heavenly voice urges me to stroke it, promising a return to simpler times, a return to…
As my giant yogurt-slinger blows its load, I slough off my godhood and regain my sanity. Kent Wayne is BACK, mothafuckas! Whew! I’m not meant for mopey soliloquys! Leave that shit to the acorn-dicked English professors! Gotta spread the word about robots and velociraptors! But more importantly?
Gotta plow some Soccer Moms! Ha HA!
Have you meditated too damn hard, and realized that Enlightenment is actually the ultimate disappointment? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization, and last but not least, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀
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