What the nether-goo is happening, all you foul fucks whose boss has gone on a trip and now you’re hanging in their office, twiddling your fingers and do-bee-do-bee-doing when it suddenly hits you: you’ve got genitals, and your boss has a mug. Within minutes, you’ve desecrated their keyboard, office chair, and neck pillow with all manner of foul secretions, blasting your favorite pop songs in between defilements while dancing and singing at the top of your lungs, woe to those who so much as take a deep breath within this nastified gunk-hole you’ve utterly violated with your—
No, dude, NO! NOT okay! And just for the record, I would never, EVER smear my balls on the doorknob, pee on the toilet paper, or cum on the fridge handle! I’m an upstanding citizen and a churchgoing virgin—how DARE you presume I’m an immoral reprobate!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #WritingCommunity
🙂 🙂 😀
Kent Wayne 
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