I’m at a coffee shop, plinking away at my manuscript, when I mutter under my breath, “What the hell kind of indignant thought-vomiter writes an open letter, anyway?”  Dancing red dots appear over my chest.  I jerk backward and my coffee cup shatters from a .300 Win Mag round.  Suddenly, the table and chairs start exploding around me, and as I cover my head with my hands and roll sideways, I glimpse a platoon of open-letter enthusiasts in the building opposite mine.  I crouch-walk behind the counter, turtling up as a 40mm grenade screams through the window and vaporizes the espresso machine.  Over the carnage I hear:  “OPEN LETTERS ARE HOW WE GROW OUR SELF-IMPORTANCE!  HOW DARE YOU CRITICIZE US!”  I yell back, “TRY STRUCTURING YOUR APPEAL THROUGH COMMONALITY RATHER THAN HIGH-HANDED CONDEMNATIONS!  OH—AND DO SOME SQUATS AND RUN SOME HILLS!  I CAN SMELL YOUR LACK OF TESTOSTERONE!”  A scream of rage greets my reply, and the volume of fire increases.  I open my eReader to Echo.  Magic flash.  I look up and see Ernest Hemingway parachuting toward my attackers, twirling his mustache and slugging back whiskey.  He takes a long swig and belches.  They start firing at him but he cuts his chute with a knife and drops into their midst.  He raises his fists in an old-timey boxing stance and begins clocking dudes in the face.  They try shooting at him but he punches the bullets out of the air—nothing can harm a whiskey-fueled Hemingway!

Someday, the open-letter crowd will come for YOU.  Protect yourself with a Hemingway.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle.