Where does Kent Wayne get his ideas, you ask? Where do you THINK he gets his ideas?
OM-NOM-MCNOMMERSON-GOBBER-MUNCH! Ten grams of magic mushrooms down the ol’ Kent Wayne hatch! HEH heh heh!
A SHORT WHILE LATER…
I drift through the aether, smiling widely, arms by my sides like a fantasy-stricken Disney princess. Tentacled lizards and sentient clouds float by, licking their lips with multicolored tongues. I wave hi to a dog-headed cowboy riding atop an eight-legged Pegasus, and he waves amiably back.
“Mind the Reptosaurs and soul-gobblers, pard’.”
“No worries,” I reply cheerfully. “I’ve woven a conceptual band of protection around my animus using a fragrant dream and a dash of quiescence.”
“Then you should be just fine, pilgrim. HYAH!” He takes his hat off and slaps the rump of his Pegasus with it. The steed rears back, kicking all eight limbs. It belts out an electrosynth whinny before it goes soaring off into the dreamscape.
Alrighty McBitey! I clap my hands and rub them briskly together. Time to harvest some ideas! Got a YA fantasy to write (Kor’Thank is finished, if you didn’t know, just doing edits, and so I gotta start prepping for my next epic: The Unbound Realm). Where should I start…
Suddenly, black fog roils across the horizon, brimming with symbols of corporate drudgery: 401ks, bright, false smiles mounted on colorless suits, passive-aggressive political correctness designed to worm its way under your psyche and slowly drive you mad with frustration…
“TIS I!” an unholy screech declares. “BORED HOLE—BRINGER OF DESPAIR, BIRTHER OF RESIGNATION!”
I raise an eyebrow. “Your name is…Bored Hole?”
“IT IS. PREPARE TO BE REDUCED TO A WHIMPERING SHELL OF YOUR CURRENT SELF, DEVOID OF ALL CREATIVITY. I SHALL INJECT YOU WITH AN OVERWHELMING DOSE OF WHAT I CALL, ‘YUPPIE FUCKTARD.’ ”
“NEVER!” I scream, horrified by the thought of it. “I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU!” (And THAT, my friends, is why you watch Empire Strikes back ad nauseum—so you know exactly what to say to a soul-devouring consciousness made of pure BLEH. Ha HA!)
I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
My astral wiener rises to the occasion, twitching upward and unleashing its full potential. Rainbows, Voltrons, and giant blasts of Fuck You turbolasers come shooting out the tip, drenching Bored Hole with a vast sea of glimmering energy. My discharge rips his mind apart, tearing his essence into a giant mess of glowing equations. Never fuck with my creativity-imbued semen, biznotch!
Kent Wayne wins again! Ha HA!
Have your story-mining activities been interrupted by a dark, interdimensional force who’s trying to get you to rot in a nameless cubicle at a stoopid-ass company with a suffix like “tech,” “global,” “holdings,” or some other such nonsense? Never fear!
Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜