What the glory trap is happening, all you horny fucks who see an unattended hole in a decrepit bathroom and predictably think, hmm, yeah, this seems like a good idea, then proceed to unzip and stick the ol’ womb-hammer into the hole, suddenly it erupts with diagonally opposed mandibles surrounded by angry pink flesh that disturbingly looks like a vajeen from that fucked up dimension in Event Horizon, you scream in panic and stumble back, the rest of the wall breaks and crumbles, holy fuck it’s a goddamn Predator without its helmet, pointing and laughing at your fear-shriveled piece, it whips out a recording device, takes a couple pics, then walks out of the bathroom shaking its head as if to say what a stupid acorn-dicked human—
THAT, my friends, is why you keep your head on a swivel (both of them, in this case) when you’re perusing them glory holes! You never know when some prank-driven interstellar menace will scare you with its genital-like mouth, then snapshot your terror-shrunken wiener so it can use you as comic relief amongst its Arnold-hunting buddies! Jesus!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm. Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback. I’ve just published volume 2: Weapons of Old If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
🙂 🙂 😀


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