What the zom-taint is happening, all you thirsty-ass nightclubbers who go hard in the paint with the hipping and the hopping, building up a shitstorm of nastiness on your pungent undergunt while cutting rugs and busting moves, oh lucky for you you’ve found a DTF hottie who wants to shlorp nethers, UNlucky for you you forget to take the obligatory, post-nightclub shower, they naively take a whiff of your death-infested genitals, start seizing and snarling like Patient Zero in 28 Days Later, you manage to subdue them and chain them in a bathroom, black ops scientists and white-haired officials pucker their lips and furrow their brows while gathered before your hottie-turned-zombie, they proceed to inform you that extermination is the only reasonable option, you’re like no goddammit NO, deep down inside it’s still fucking human, for the love of God and all that’s holy you DON’T NEED TO DO THIS, commandos shove you aside but the zombie breaks free and bites the first one’s neck, holy shit blood is spurting EVERYWHERE more dudes die, more zombies spawn, mother of FUCK IT’S THE ZOM-TAINT APOCALYPSE—
And THAT, my friends, is why you take a shower after you engage in the hipping and the hopping! Your funk-basted taint is a world-ending weapon—wash them shits and spare the damn masses!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm. Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor. I’ve just published volume 2: Weapons of Old If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
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