What the sweaty doggystyle is happening, all you folks whoโ€™re slamming it from behind on a 30th story balcony (given the modern-day variety of contraptions and hole-blasters, itโ€™s anyoneโ€™s guess whoโ€™s giving and whoโ€™s receiving), only to have slimy perspiration spring out on your fingers, causing you to desperately try and power through and keep pumping away but your partner slips from your grasp and falls from the edge like Hans fucking Gruber in the OG Die Hard, the next thing you know youโ€™re floodlighted by choppers filled with helmeted cops, cheesy visible lasers are painting you in dots, then youโ€™re Jason Bourne-ing it across scaffolding and ledges as techno music rises and swells in the background, the camera pans out in a sweeping display of law enforcement helicopters and dusk-lit high rises, how the FUCK did it go from a balcony-set gonzo-porn to a hellish slo-mo, 80s-style fall to a goddamn chase scene where youโ€™re vigorously engaging in SWAT-dodging parkourโ€”

If youโ€™re sexing on a balcony, watch yer goddamn sweaty-ass phalanges!  No one needs to die from a reckless bout of doggy-style fucking!  Goddamn!

Anyways, now that Iโ€™ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  Iโ€™ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If youโ€™re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Korโ€™Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big olโ€™ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And donโ€™t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviewsโ€”even though they only take a minute or two of your timeโ€”are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜€


Comments

6 responses to “Give my books a read and a review!”

  1. Being a horny bitch dooooo be a wild experience on god

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this post, it’s giving Chuck Wendig ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I’m flattered! ๐Ÿ˜

      Like

  3. Note: Bring lasso, be prepared to flyโ€ฆ ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‰

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    1. No worries, slippery grasp is an amateur’s problem. If it starts happening, I’ll clasp the shoulder or the muscle between the neck and the shoulder and pull inward a bit to counteract the thrusts. Or I can grab the hair (I know, do it closer to the skull). Let me know what you prefer, Doll ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. When the time comesโ€ฆ ๐Ÿ˜˜

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