What the sex-bloop is happening, my fellow fuckers who are enjoying the shit out of some hip-bruising coitus but are suddenly interrupted by an unwelcome BLAT that pops out mid-stroke, sending you into fight-or-flight mode as your eyes tick back and forth and you review the smash session in harrowing, frenetic detail—who farted you or your partner was it a queef please God please let it be an invisible horse and not your ass or something worse—all you can do is keep pumping away, and as you lock eyes with your partner you see that same fear reflected in their expression, it’s no longer fun you’re both trapped in a fear-based fuck where you’re mashing nethers and neither of you can stop because the cringe is too much, tears spill down your cheeks and your lips tremble oh dear God how did it COME TO THIS—
Whoa there, fuck-farter! Calm your ass down—sploots and splats are a natural part a’ fucking! Take a couple deep breaths, chant Serenity Now, and get back to pleasuring some holes!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #WritingCommunity
🙂 🙂 😀
Kent Wayne 
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