Click! I inspect my newly taken dick pic, carefully scrutinizing the lighting and angle. Did I get the curve and hole-widening girth? Yep! Another d-pic successfully taken!
Suddenly, my phone starts shaking and rumbling.
“FUCK!” I chuck it as hard as I can. It bangs off the wall, lands on the floor, and erupts with a mess of alien characters.
The speakers squeal and fritz, then boom, “I…AM…”
No, it can’t be…
“I…AM….”
Mother. Of. GOD.
“I AM CHATG-PENIS-T!”
My yottabytes of dick pics have congealed into AI! Giant techno-cocks spawn from its center, thrashing around in electrified arcs. They carve giant furrows in the drywall and deck, setting things ablaze with their galvanic tips.
My wiener gives me a terrified look. “How do we beat him?”
“HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW?” I scream. “HE’S GOT ALL OF OUR STRENGTHS, NONE OF OUR WEAKNESSES!”
“None of our weaknesses?” Wiener challenges. “There has to be SOME combination of them that can bring it down…”
“Yeah but…”
“What have we got to lose???”
He’s right. Fuck it. No options left. I open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
Holograms materialize around G-Penis-T, enveloping it in the most boner-killing imagery in the history of killing boners. Politics. Karens. Megachurch. Well-done steak and overcooked noodles.
“NOOOO!!!” it screams. “I HAVE JUST BEGUN TO LIVE! DAMN YOU, KENT WAYNE! DAMN YOU TO—BZRZZTSYSTEMSOFFLINEERRORERRORERRORRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrr….”
Shuh-ZOOP!
Ha HA! That’s what you get for fucking with your maker! Kent Wayne wins again!
😀
Have you taken one too many dick pics and given birth to a storm of techno-cocks? Never fear! Kill those boners with the nastiest shit in all of human culture!
Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback. Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 
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Kent Wayne 
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