Idiot demon-jocks, tons of profanity, copious psychedelics, and an airborne kiss at 300 mph, hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha! All this and more in my comedy/horror/sci-fi absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
Check it out here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl
Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor. Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 
#Kindle #KindleUnlimited
Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha 
I read this ad in its entirety just today. Those blessings are only for males though, how does that help the females? 🤔😜
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I’m not sure…maybe shape some parts into smiley faces or other emojis 🤣
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Seriously shape it? 😆 you can’t come up with something more exotic. 🤪…. smileys and emojis… ewww… I adore them, don’t abuse them.😀
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I don’t know…I think it would be fun being able to have my genitals be part of a nerd emoji 🥸🤣
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I wonder what that can be 🤔. Don’t flatter yourself tho 😜, it might not be such a hit ..
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I’m sure I can spin it into something that will amuse. I always do…😁
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Oh you amuse enough as it is. But an emoji is over reaching 🫣.
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You never know…help me put it together, make it look beautiful! 🤣
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Is that an invitation 🤔. Really beautiful, would require plenty of landscaping I guess 😉.
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Plenty of hands-on work, so to speak 🤣
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😂😂😂. The hands may need help.
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I welcome it! All holes unite! 🤣
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😱😱… you didn’t…
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🤣
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Seriously wondering how that emoji will turn out 😇
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I’m glad it’s lurking in your imagination! 😂
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Yup cause I love using them, they add more playfulness 😜
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Seems like we can combine it with something else you’re interested in–two birds with one stone! 🤣
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I thought you said 3, so it’s only 2 after all? 🤣
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Whoops! I meant 3! 3!!! I’m usually a master of teasing, but this might be a case where I get a taste of my own medicine! 🤣
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That and lack of exposure😉. Meet your (international) country cousin, the mistress of tease🤣🤣.
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Good to meet you, mistress! Now let’s get busy with the three body-part solution! 😂
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Why are you in a hurry? We still have to start with the socks, measurements? 😛
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5.5 inches circumference, 7 in length 🤣
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Where did you get this random measurement from? 🤔
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It’s easily verifiable by measuring some hands or a tongue, then comparing everything up close 🤣
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Too much work, might need sterilization for hygiene purposes, maybe gloves too 🤔😂
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Maybe you can be my nurse and wipe me down! 😂
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You know you got to fall ill for that to happen. Maybe we can start choose an illnes game 😅😮
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Nurse! I’ve bruised my groin in multiple places! I need help! NOW!!! 🤣
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What rubbish 🤣. Now I can see the delinquent 😂. Sorry, I’m occupied, you might have to wait a long time 😜.
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I suppose I could just massage myself back to health…but I need pictures to guide me! 🤣
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Do you need to publicize? What are medical mags for 😜.
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I need a more personal touch 😏
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It is just a measurement. Why would you need it personal 😉😇.
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It’s a secret. But I’m pretty sure you’d enjoy finding out why! 🤣
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Now I’m dying to know 😂
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Warning, it can get addictive–make sure you hydrate! 🤣
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Ehhhh, again bragging 🤣. Hydrated enough, it might go to waste if not used 🫣😋😅.
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I’m ready to help you put it to use! 😁
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I’m sure you would. Back to the measurements and whether the sock fits 🤣🤣.
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You’re obsessed with the sock! What about…the foot? 😏🤣
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The sock protects and it has to fit well. I don’t know what the foot can do
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After you massage it for a bit, you might be surprised! 🤣
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Why should I massage the foot, the foot? 🤣. I wonder if it can live up to the surprise you keep alluding to 😜.
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I mean…maybe it’s not a foot. Just give it a rub and see what comes out! 🤣
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Oh believe me I know what this foot without toes is 😅. I wonder if a genie will come out when rubbed 🤣. Can it fulfill wishes?
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Depends on what your wish is. 😏😂
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Private island again, so I can get all the massage I want 🤣
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My massages get pretty addictive–you might not be able to sleep! 🤣
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I thought you missed this 🤭. I will believe when the wish is granted 😉. I’m beginning to wonder if that delivery is working or you even started the delivery 🤣😂
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Sometimes WP is erratic with replies or likes, it’s a bit annoying, so I’ll double check every now and then.
I’ve been a bit busy with self-massages–I’ll have to get on that delivery! 🤣
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Uggghhh… seriously, you’re saying that here 🙄 🤣. We’ll talk when I see the delivery 😅.
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I mean…how much delivery do you want to see? 🤣
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Why? You mean to say you have a truck load 🤔🤣. Over promising much 😂
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I’ve got multiple loads. There’ll be a lot of cleaning involved! 🤣
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Bragging much 😅. I have yet to see the goods 🤭🤣. How can I trust there’s so much load? 😝.
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Oh I deliver on multiple levels. Not only will you see it, you’ll feel it too 😉🤣
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Your overconfidence 🤦♀️. First work on the delivery 🤣. That must not be working, glitches perhaps 😂.
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Sounds like you’re requesting a delivery to your door! 😉 😂
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What is delivery for then, if not door delivery 🤣 😜
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Right to your door! Make sure it’s open wide so I can slide it right in! 🤣
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You are nuttier than a nut 😅. Don’t count on it, the door could be rusty 😂
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Just gotta put some lube on it and rub it off. 🤣
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Don’t forget cobwebs too 😂. You might need tube fulls of lube. The rust has taken years 🤣.
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I’m not afraid. Just means more rubbing! 🤣
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Might need more work than you anticipate 😂
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Or maybe less. Maybe the effect will be immediate! 😏🤣
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I’m not so sure I should be that confident. You never know what lies underneath 😂.
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I’m good at figuring things out. Maybe a little investigation is warranted, though 🤣
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I’m not so sure an investigation would work 🤣
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It’s worth trying 😏😂
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Pray how that can happen? Is that delivery or goods crossing the ocean’s? 😅
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You never know! 😉
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That’s the safest answer so far 🤣.
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You want safe? I suspect you like a little trouble trouble…😂
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You were being safe, not me 😂. So you want to trouble trouble is it? 😅😅
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I’m always up for a little trouble trouble 😏😂
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Oooh, let’s trouble trouble then shall we? 🤣
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How much trouble trouble are you ready for? 😁
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Are you challenging trouble trouble? 🤣
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Let’s see how much you got 🤣
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That’s for me to know and for you to find out 🤣
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I’m not sure you know either…I think you might need me to help you find out yourself 😏
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Ahhh so you know what I don’t know, now trouble trouble wants to know what you know 🤣
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Trouble trouble is still lurking in your mind, eh? 🤣
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You forgot you’re talking to trouble trouble 🤭. Trouble trouble is always lurking around 🤣
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Where else is it lurking? Any body parts in particular? 🤣
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I can’t tell you, where’s the fun in that then 😂. Hide and seek? 🤣
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Oh I can guess 😉
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I am not going to ask, I’m scared what you’ll come up with 🤣
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I’m intrigued by what YOU’D come up with 😏
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Oooh we’re playing that game is it 🤫. Still for me to know and for you NOT to find out 😂
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I don’t know…something tells me I could guess pretty accurately…🤣
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Oooh so now you’re a mind reader not pulling up the e-reader for help are we 😅
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Do I really need to read your mind? What if it’s already there for me to see? 🤣
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What? You wouldn’t 🤐.. you’re that eager to see what’s inside🤣, the mind, the mind!
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Definitely eager to see what’s inside. Why don’t you show me? 🤣
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Sometimes, sharing is not advisable 🤣
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What should we do instead? 😁
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What should we not do? 😅
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You want to do everything, eh? 🤣
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What constitutes everything to you 🤔🤪
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We’ll stop when we get tired 🤣
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I’m lost here, stop what exactly 😉😂
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I’m lost as well, I guess we’ll just have to find a way to finish together 🤣
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Ugghhh you!! 🤣. Already finished? Are we finishing something 🤔🤣
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I think a better question is WHO is finishing? 🤣
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Is this a race to see who finishes first or last🤔🤣.
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I think it’s a race for me to make others finish 🤣
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Ohh, that’s an unfamiliar race. Where’s the pleasure in coming second 🤣🤣
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I always like to come second 🤣
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Guess some rules need changing or change the game? 🤣
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Nah, I’m fine with coming second. You can go first all you want! 🤣
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Oh OK, seems like you dislike variety or mix-up, new adventures 😂😂
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Why, do you want to change up my preference? 🤔🤣
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Ewww, you know what variety I mean, has nothing to do with preference 😂. You’re not up for playful variety 🤔🤣
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Bring on the variety! I relish a wide range of flavors! 🤣
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Don’t be in such a hurry, we might have to sample a few, you know they have to complement each other 😂
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You’re right–I have a lot of things for you to taste 🤣
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Sounds like you have everything ready. I need those samples then, where are they😂
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Open your holes! Ear-holes, I mean 🤣
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Ewww you are 🤐 🤣. Nothing is closed, you are just slow 🤣
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Nothing’s closed, eh? Everything’s open for business? 🤣
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What, you expect business to close? How to survive then. Oh it’s not open for all though🫣 🤣
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Just for me, eh? 😏🤣
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Are we ass-u-m(e)ing again? What makes you think it’s just for you 🤫 🤔 😂..
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I suppose I’ll take what I can get! 🤣
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You can’t say that 🤫. Exclusive, you know the bard language 🤣
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The bard language seems to get me quite a bit! 🤣
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Oooh is it or (am I) rubbing off on you 🫣🤣. We need more bard you think?
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More bard, and more rubbing! Yes! 🤣
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We have to brush up on the bard then, not sure about the rubbing 🤣
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The rubbing is a crucial part! 🤣
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Too much rubbing – dryness, no? 🤣. There must be alternatives 🤔
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Dryness is easily addressed. Plenty of products that can help with it! 🤣
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I assume you have these readily available. That’s the alternative 🤔🤣
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Gallons of it! HEH heh heh! 🤣
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Gallons? Where,what you need them for🤔🤣. Do we need so much 🤣
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It’s quite possible! You should always have extra! 🤣
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I thought the original one should be enough isn’t it 🤣
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I have my doubts…🤣
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What? Are you saying YOU don’t have enough🤔🤣
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Well I can always produce some more, my body is a fountain! 🤣
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Don’t make me visualize the fountain 🫣🤣. I’m intrigued how this fountain works 🤣
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It’s got a series of on off switches that are triggered by tongues! 🤣
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Tongues? That’s plural. How many tongues does it need? I have only one 🤣
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Are you volunteering yours?? 🤣
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Oh oh, did I walk into that one 😅. Are you looking for a volunteer? 🤣
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After much consideration, I’m happy to inform you that your tongue has been accepted into our program 🤣
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I wonder how much consideration that took 🤔 but only the tongue accepted, how does that work? 🤣
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Let’s start with the tongue, then we’ll take the other parts under consideration as well! 😁🤣
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So many steps to go through. I hope it’s worth it and not a waste of time 🤣
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I think you won’t be able to stop coming back for more! 🤣
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I can’t stop or maybe you’d be unable to stop giving 🤔🤣
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I’m definitely a giver! 🤣
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Oooh I’m curious what you’ll be giving🤔🤣
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I come bearing gifts! 🤣
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Can I peek into those ‘gifts’, plural again? 🤣
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You like to peek, eh? 👀🤣
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Wouldn’t you, You like suspense? 🤣
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I like the full view 🤣
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Which full view? 🤣
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I’ll take the front and the rear 😋🤣
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You don’t leave much of a choice do you 🤣. I thought you’d take out parts 🫣🤣
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Why would I do that? 😏🤣
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Because there’s such a thing as fun and frolic 🤣
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Well I’ll take what I can get 😏🤣
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You don’t want more? 🤔
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I’ll always want more. What are you offering? 🤣
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I think we’ll have to make up a menu 🤣
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Make it extensive–I want a full course meal! 🤣
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We have to come up with it together then for a full course 🤣
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It’s gonna involve big pieces of meat 🤣
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Oh how big? Should not be too big or it gets wasted 🤭. What about sides? 🤣
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The meat will be incredibly filling. 😏🤣
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That I have to see, touch and taste 🤣
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It’s fragrant and thick. You’ll love it! 🤣
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You’re so sure I’ll love it. Sample again, please? 🤣 wait, what fragrance 🤔
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There’s a pleasant natural musk that comes with it 🤣
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I do like natural. What else is enticing and salivating? 🤣
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The meat itself is delectable! 🤣
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So you keep saying. When do I get a taste? 🤣
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You want a big thick bite, eh? 🤣
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Are you sure bite? That should not impale you 🤣
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Maybe a lick, then 🤣
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You sure just a lick is enough? 🤣
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If you’re hungry, feel free to do more than lick! 🤣
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I’m hungry or you are? 🤣 It better be filling and satisfaction guaranteed 🤣
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You’ll be absolutely stuffed! 🤣
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The stuffed should not affect the next meal 🤣
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Don’t worry–you’ll be repeatedly stuffed! 🤣
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I hope the stuffing is good 🤣
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The stuffing is delicious! 😋🤣
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Now you’re being a tease, why can’t I sample? 🤣
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It would only make you ravenous! 🤣
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I would think that’s good? You wouldn’t want to curb the appetite 🤣
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I definitely think it’s good. I enjoy making ladies ravenous! 🤣
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Sounds like one will be in constant hunger 🤣
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Gotta feed that need! 🤣
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I’m wondering, how much feeding is required 🤣
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Are you insatiable? 🤣
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Actually I do need to put on some weight 🤣
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I can help you eat protein! 🤣
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You supply protein? 🤣
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I shoot it all over the place! 🤣
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I thought it requires an input and some aim 🤣
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I just shoot deep and far! 🤣
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Hmmm, how far does it go? You’re sure you don’t need to aim? 🤣
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Nah, I fill it all up and slather it all over, so I hit my mark just by default! 🤣
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How do you know it fills up? 🤣
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I guess I don’t. You’ll have to do a thorough case study with me! 🤣
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Case studies take time. You have time to invest? 🤣
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Plenty of time. Be thorough! 🤣
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The thoroughness may need some instructions 🤣
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I’ll tell you what to say! 🤣
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Do I need to make notes, I should not forget 🤣
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You might forget in the moment. I’ll remind you. 😏🤣
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And who’ll remind you in case you forget, you know lost in the moment 🤣
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I always remember. 😏🤣
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Someone needs to multitask 🤣
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Multitask away! 🤣
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I’d need help from time to time 🤣
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An extra hand, so to speak? 🤣
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Woah, you have an extra hand 🤣
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I can lend it to you! 🤣
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For how long can I keep it and when do I expect it? 🤣
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I’m sure you’ll keep it until you wear it out! 🤣
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It wears out quickly? 🤣
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I don’t think it ever will! 🤣
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You don’t mind a very long term lending? 🤣
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You have a lot in mind, eh? 🤣
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You said it won’t wear out, why change 🤣
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Why indeed! 🤣
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Unless it does not live up to its promises 🤣
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It goes beyond promises. It’s magic. It grants wishes 🤣
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Oh I have so many wishes and I’ve nit seen magic for years 🤣
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I’ll pull a sausage out of the hat for you! 🤣
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Oh my gosh 🤣. You’re obsessed with sausage, isn’t there something else 🤣
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Pickles and eggplants! 🤣
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Can you compete with the eggplant and pickles, aren’t they a little too small? 🤣
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We’ll have to get the overgrown ones 🤣
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They might not be as tasty 🤣
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Size can make up for taste, can’t it? 🤣
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🤣 does it? And if it doesn’t? 🤣
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Just chew some flavored gum! 🤣
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And what hope it glues to something? 🤣
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The friction will make it fall off naturally! 🤣
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Such powerful friction eh, you’re not bragging are you? 🤣
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I’m sure you want to find out! 🤣
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What will you do then? 🤣
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I’d most likely study what you’re doing–I want to remember your reaction! 🤣
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😱, come on, up your game 🤣
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You want me to play harder, eh? 🤣
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Any other ways? 🤣
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I’ll go as hard as you like! 🤣
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You know your strength and intensity 🤣
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I keep cocoa butter nearby just in case. Helps soothe aches and pains! 🤣
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It does? Which aches and pains 🤣
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I guess you’ll have to just feel whatever I’m talking about! 🤣
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You’re teasing with aches and pains, now I’m more curious 🤣. I wonder if you’d feel the same 🤭
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I enjoy a good ache and some bruises 🤣
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Bruises too? 😱. My curiosity is peaking 🤣
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Go ahead and bite! I don’t mind 🤣
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Be careful, I got sharp teeth, you don’t want red marks 🤣
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Bring on the red marks! 🤣
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Don’t get too excited.You’ll need scarves or cover up 🤣
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No, I like showing them off 🤣
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I wonder what else you like showing off 🤣
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I wonder what you’re wondering about 🤣
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Ask and it shall be given? 🤣
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What do you ask for? 🤣
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For the impossible to be possible 🤣
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Infinite kielbasa? 🤣
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You’re ready for infinite supply? 🤣
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Are YOU? 🤣
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If I am, what about you? 🤣
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I’ve got enough kielbasa to satisfy your cravings! 🤣
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What, you’ll always be stocked? 🤣
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Yep! Lotta kielbasas just hanging around! 🤣
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Hanging around 😱. Do I need help reaching them 🤣
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Nope. It’s easily accessible! 🤣
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I think I got to stretch more for that accessibility 🤣
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I’ll help stretch you out 🤣
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As long as you don’t tear it 🤣
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I’ll give you a good warm up. You’ll get a really good stretch! 🤣
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And what is included in this warm up? 🤣
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A lot of moisture! 🤣
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You seem to like moisture too much 🤣
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We’re made from water, it’s great stuff! 🤣
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I guess I need a science class, specifically anatomy 🤣
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I’m an experienced professor! Guaranteed A+! 🤣
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Oh my, you’re a professor too. Are you going to make me study very hard 🤣
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There’ll be a lot of one on one tutoring! 🤣
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Sounds like you’ve been tutoring too much 🤣
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Sounds like you haven’t been tutored enough! 🤣
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😱 🤣… maybe I need refreshers 🤣
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Vigorous refreshers! 🤣
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You may have to tone down on the vigorous, if there’s going to be plenty 🤣
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I’ll try. I don’t think you’ll be able to hold back, though! 🤣
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Lol. You’re laying it thick. Maybe holding back could be exciting 🤣
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Nah, don’t hold back 🤣
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Hey, sometimes slow and steady is good? 🤣
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Maybe in the beginning, not for long though 🤣
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Heh heh.. the imagination running riot 🤣
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Your imagination is pretty active! 🤣
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Someone has to match yours 🤣. It was brought to life 🤣
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A lot of mixing, matching, and mashing between our imaginations! 🤣
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Seems like your imagination has been at play 🤣
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It’s always fucking around, so to speak 🤣
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Ahhh well, I have to take you at your word, I wouldn’t know 🫣🤣
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You’d like to, though! 🤣
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To know? I bet you would 🤣
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Oh I’d love to! 🤣
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I’ve a badass response but have to censor it 🤣.. let’s get to the know part 🤣.
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To feel is to know! 🤣
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You’ll help me feel 🤣
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I can give you lessons! 🤣
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I’ve been waiting for those lessons 🤣
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What if you don’t do well? Are you ready for a spanking? 👀🤣
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I’m sure you’d like me not to do well when there’s punishment involved 🫣🤣
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Maybe you’d do poorly on purpose! 🤣
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That depends on what punishment you give 🤣
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I mean we already mentioned spanking…🤣
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I thought there’d be a few more besides spanking 🤣
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Like biting? Scratching? 🤣
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Yeah those too. I’m sure you’ll come up with a few more, or something new 🤔🤣.
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I feel like it’s captured your interest! 🤣
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What do you think? What else you got? 🤣
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I used to play piano–I’m good with my fingers! 🤣
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Ooh, I’m curious what else they’re good for 🤣
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You want me to play you like a piano?🤣
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Do you think you can find the right keys, chords? 🤣
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Indeed! I’ll make you sing! 🤣
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You’d need to fine tune the keys first 🤣
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I’ll have to root around to make sure everything’s in tune! 🤣
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It does need a lot of tuning, I hope you have patience 🤣
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I’ll hit all the right chords! 🤣
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You sure you don’t need practice first? 🤣
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You’re right–let me practice on you! 🤣
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Not rusted are you? 🤣
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You should check! Be ready to apply lube! 🤣
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The lube for me or you? 🤣
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Let’s do both! Cover all the bases! 🤣
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You better stock up 🤣
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You’ll be slick and slippery! 🤣
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That’ll depend on the supply 🤣
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I aim on drenching you! 🤣
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I’m curious about the ‘aim’ whether it works 🤣
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Not much aim needed, actually–there’s a ton of spraying! 🤣
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Like the toy jet sprays 🤣
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Looking forward to my spray? 🤣
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I’m not sure but I’m curious about the spray 🤣
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You want to feel it on you? 🤣
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Somethings have to be felt to believe? 🤣. You like this ‘feeling’ isn’t it 🤣
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I think you’d like it as well! 🤣
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Who doesn’t like to feel. How do I get this feeling 🤔🤣
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Practice with kielbasas 🤣
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Are they your favorite 🤔🤣
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I just want you to be prepared 🤣
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Groundwork laid out 🤣
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I’ll lay out more than the groundwork 😏🤣
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You will dig then pave too? 🤣
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There will be a lot of jackhammering! 🤣
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Sounds like too much hammering, are you sure there’s no destruction 🤣
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Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t fix. But I wonder if you wouldn’t want more jackhammering throughout the night! 🤣
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Oh you wild nut 🤣. Depends on the size of the hammer 🤣
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It’s a kielbasa-sized, kielbasa-shaped hammer! 🤣
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Now I know what to gift you…kielbasa wrapped in…. it seems to be your favorite 🤣
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Gift it to yourself! 🤣
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I don’t mind but I doubt it compares to the real 🤣
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It definitely doesn’t. Maybe warm it up and fill it with cream? 🤣
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Oh gosh 🤣. But I don’t like cream 🤣 and why warm? 🤣
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My cream is special! You’ll love it! 🤣
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How will I know how special it is 🤣
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I’ll make funny noises–that’s your confirmation! 🤣
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Not Mac and cheese 🤣
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YOU will make the mac and cheese noises! 🤣
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I will 🤔 I cannot imagine 🤣
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Shlorpa-shlorp shlorp! 🤣
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Oh you nut 🤣 you make those noises huh 🤣
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We’ll both make them 😏🤣
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Not the Mac and cheese ones, hopefully 🤣
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It’s going to sound like a mac and cheese tornado 🤣
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You can make a tornado too, not just quake? 🤣
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It’ll end with a big juicy flood 🤣
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Oh my gosh, flood too? What can you not do? 🤣
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Sometimes, I’m unable to summon two floods in a row 🤣
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Otherwise it happens? 😱 You must be a god. 🤣
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I mean, I have been called that in the heat of the moment…🤣
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Hahaha! I knew you’d say that. There is heat as well? 🤣
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Heat, moisture, friction…it’s a trifecta! 🤣
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Sounds like you can cause a volcanic eruption 🫣🤣
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I am pretty hot 🤣
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I don’t want to melt then 🤣
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You’ll definitely leak 🤣
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How do we stop that? 🤣
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Should I plug it? 🤣
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😱, not sure that’ll work 🤣
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Let’s give it a try! 🤣
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Lol! Tell me how that works 🤣
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You have to participate. Remember who’s getting plugged 🤣
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Nut! 🤣 I wonder if it’s as easy as you make it sound 🤣
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Getting plugged? It may be tight and uncomfortable at first…🤣
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🤣😱 you like tight? 🤣
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Tight is great! 🤣
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I’m wondering if there are alternative plugging 🤣
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You want to be plugged in multiple places? 🤣
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🤫🤣 I’m not sure what multiple places. I’m wondering if the main thing would plug well 🤣
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You’re looking forward to the main plug, eh? 🤣
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🤫. If that doesn’t work nothing else will work 🤣
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We could try plugging alternatives, just to be sure 🤣
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Which alternatives? Would they be better than the real one? 🤣
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We could plug them in a rhythm: bloop bloop…bloop-bloop! 🤣
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Oh you crazy nut 🤣. You’re peaking my curiosity, sound effects too 🤣
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Start with stirring the mac n cheese, do it faster and faster, than rhythmically slap your thigh and accompany it with grunting 🤣
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That is a lot of details to follow, why so complicated? 🤣
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Maybe you could try playing some moist bagpipes 🤣
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Oh my goodness, where can I get moist bagpipes? 🤣
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You want my bagpipe? I’ll moisten it for you! 🤣
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You’re giving it away? 🤣
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You can have it free of charge! 🤣
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Oh my gosh, that’s so generous of you. How will you deliver? 🤣
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I will deliver it vigorously and forcefully! 🤣
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🫣 the force and vigor should not damage it 🤣
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I think it will do the opposite–awaken and rejuvenate! 🤣
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Rejuvenation is good for skin 🤣
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I’ll rejuvenate everything, inside and out! 🤣
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It helps dryness? 🤣
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Do you need to be moistened? 🤣
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Extra moisturizing is always welcome 🤣
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I will happily moisturize you! 🤣
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Obviously it can’t be done in a sad manner 🤣
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What about in a frantic and aggressive manner? 🤣
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You can make that a possibility too? 🤣
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I feel like you’ll match my franticness and aggressiveness 🤣
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Your imagination is running riot 🤣
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Isn’t yours? 🤣
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I am very simple 🤣
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Animalistic? 🤣
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What? How did you read animalistic from simple? 🤣
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Aren’t animals simple? 🤣
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You say I’m a simple animal? 🤣
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At certain times, yes 😏🤣
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What? And at other times?
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Other times, you lie about it and say you’re not 🤣
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How do you know I lie? I am such an innocent 🤣
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Are you, though? 🤔🤣
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You want me to convince you of my angelic attributes? 🤣
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Will you be on your knees? 🤣
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🫣🫣… folded hands 🤣
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Get on your knees, fold your hands in your lap, and I’ll take care of the rest 🤣
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Oh I thought you want me with folded hands 🤣
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You can do what you want with your hands 😏🤣
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Oh, so you don’t want my hands folding….🤣
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You can start out that way if you want 🤣
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Oooh you’re saying I have a head start 🤣
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If you want to start with the head, that’s fine by me 🤣
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I guess we’d have to sample what works best 🤣
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Sample away! 🤣
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I’m ready but where is it? 🤣
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You’re thirsting for it, eh? 🤣
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Am I thirsty or curious? you’re quenching the thirst? 🤣
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I’ll quench you repeatedly 🤣
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You won’t run out or dry out? 🤣
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I’ll recharge in my sleep! 🤣
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I wonder how much that works 🤣
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You’ll have to drain me to find out 🤣
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What? Drain you and then fill you up again 🤣
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Do it with your mouth! 🤣
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😱 that is so demanding 🤣
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I can demand a lot more 🤣
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I can take a wild guess what those demands could be 🤣
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Shlorpa-shlorp-shlorp! Stir the mac and cheese! 🤣
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The mac and cheese is giving me ideas 🤣
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Put your ear up to it as you stir it, so you can really drink in the sound 🤣
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Oh my goodness. Why drink the sound when it can something else 🤣
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What do you want to drink? 🤣
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I don’t think you offer variety 🤣
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You’re right. It’s just straight vanilla 🤣
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I wonder if we can add some toppings 🤣
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You want to be a topping? Get on top! 🤣
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What? I didn’t say that 😱🤣. But you’d like it huh 🤣
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It would be a great ride 🤣
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Do I need riding lessons? 🤣
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I can give you riding lessons 🤣
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You know how to tame wild …? 🤣
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I’ll let you buck and thrash for a bit. I enjoy the wildness 🤣
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Scratching and clawing not withstanding 🤣
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Oops that sounds bad doesn’t it 😬 🤦♀️
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🤣
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😛
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Wait, what did just happen here? 🙃
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