What the unintended facial is happening, all you meatbeaters who are reveling in a weed-pizza-and-Netflix-induced haze, flogging your wiener without a care in the world whilst lounging around in a Big Lebowski-style robe when suddenly your nemesis from work crashes into your bedroom, grabs your shaft right as you bust, points it at your eyes, and—
“No don’t HRRRGGGLLHHHGPP—”
—deluges your mug with your own gross load, coating your features in a barrage of testicular glue, under normal circumstances you would beat their fucking ass but not when you’re blinded by a Spiderman-worthy glob of nut-spawned cement, dear God in heaven it smells like WET SOCKS AND ASSHOLE MARINADE—
And THAT, my friends, is why you never let your guard down and when you’re beating your meat! Stay in that samurai masturbatory Mushin, so that as soon as you’re attacked, you’ll throw a no-thought backsweep, pin em with a knee on belly, and blow your load into their treacherous face!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm. Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback. I’ve just published volume 2: Weapons of Old If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
🙂 🙂 😀
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