What the nut-storm is happening, all you touch-and-go ’baters who beat or flick yourself right to the edge and wait for it to subside before doing it again, building up an increasingly massive load with each new round, suddenly an errant breeze tickles your nether bits and you have to freeze in place, clench your face, and focus every iota of your being on suppressing the cum-splosion that threatens to blow a hole through the roof, kill every bird within a ten-mile radius, then envelop the land in filthy goo that sometimes congeals into rubber-cement-like webs, hold it…hold it…HOLD IT…wait who’s at the door, that voice sounds familiar, holy shit it’s that ultra-friendly neighbor with the greatest ass you’ve ever laid eyes on, wait they bought you COOKIES AND THEY WANT TO SOCIALIZE? No, no, dear God in heaven YOU CAN’T HOLD IT ANY LONGER I AM BECOME DEATH THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS HNNNNGHHHHHHHH—
And THAT, my friends, is why you blow your load before it starts to hurt! No one wants to live through a post-apocalyptic flood where everything smells like bleach and/or fish, and also gives rise to an army of humanoid sperm-CHUDS! Jesus!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm. Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor. I’ve just published volume 2: Weapons of Old If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
🙂 🙂 😀


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