What the old balls is happening, you once tight-sacked meat-slingers who have now become that codger in the locker room, flashing your ankle-knocking sack to any and all, when you’re suddenly confronted by a trio of AARP enforcers, two of whom grab your arms while the other menacingly dons a set of brass knuckles and informs you this is what happens to old-ass fucks who don’t pay their dues, before he can punch you you flip your hips and smack the one on your right with your wiry-haired morningstar—OLE!—then flip your hips to the left, dispatching goon number two with a testicle to the eye—FOR FRODO!—before you wind your wormlike sack around the third one’s neck and grit your teeth while you’re choking the life out of him, you’re hissing who the fuck do you think you are, I’ve been fucking your wife for years and you never suspected, she loves it when my long-dangling nuts slap her engorged clit from behind because I’m in spider-monkey or doggystyle—

WHOA!  There’s no reason to go on a Neeson-worthy rampage, simply because you’ve developed a low-hanging set of old man testes!  Jesus fucking Christ!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀