What the summer penile syndrome is happening (yes, it has an entry on Wikipedia and no, there aren’t any pics in it), all you wiener-slingers who’re struck by an abundance of itchy red dots which causes you to sprint at full speed throughout your house screaming FUUUUUUCKKKK!!! at the absolute top of your adrenalized lungs, finally calming down enough to call 911 and gasp, “Call the Joint Chiefs!  Call the President!  HURRY UP, YOU WORTHLESS FUCK-GOBBLE!!!” before drenching your penis in acid and seizing up in teeth-clenching shudders, ugly-crying like Will Fucking Ferrell as smoke rises off your shriveled-up piece, when that doesn’t work you run into the shed, fire up the chain saw, then laugh maniacally as you hold it up and silhouette it in the full fucking moon like Ash in Evil Dead preparing to sever his demon-infected arm—

Whoa dude WHOA!  Your dick was bitten by a couple of insects, not taken over by the goddamn Necronomicon!  Less chainsaw, more aloe!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀