What the hole-burn is happening, my fellow asshole-tanners who are into this new fangled health trend and have spent way too long in the goddamn sun, forcing you to walk gingerly back to your house with a bowed-out gait and a tear-laden grimace, things seem manageable until your partner surprises you with a what’s up sexy and smacks your ass with bomb-like force, causing your ravaged meat donut to make a noise like crinkly cellophane you clutch the air like Darth Vader at the end of the third shitty prequel and scream NOOOOOOOOO—
Fuck, man, just pop an extra tablet of vitamin goddamn D! Quit roasting your stank-glazed balloon knot—that odor hurts our will to live!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #WritingCommunity
🙂 🙂 😀