What the hole-whiff is happening, all my fellow fuckers who have lucked into a flirty stranger, the encounter quickly progresses into an eager smash-sesh but you haven’t had the time to clean up your bdussy, so as you’re pounding away their face wrinkles in consternation and they’re all like, “Do you smell that?” and you instantly know it’s you so you cover their nose and mouth and beg them dear God NO, don’t inhale if you value your life and sanity but they slap away your hands, take a breath, then their expression turns from annoyance to horror, they start coughing uncontrollably, skin melts off their bones hair drops off in patches and you’re reduced to a sobbing mess clutching what remains of their fascia and organs screaming why didn’t you LISTEN goddammit why didn’t you LISTEN—
’s why you always carry wet wipes, just in case you don’t have time to shower! Dirty fucking birdy, that’s what you are!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #WritingCommunity
🙂 🙂 😀