What the fuck-gobble is happening, all you lucky folks who are enjoying the ardent ministrations of a committed Oral Warrior, currently down on their knees with the intensity turned up to a goddamn eleven—OMNOMNOMBLBLBLBLBL—blowing your mind (literally and figuratively) as they work your genitals with jackhammer speed, but then they start snarling and writhing and clutching the air, as veins pop out across their face you think holy shit what is happening fur is sprouting from all their pores oh no they’re turning into a level 30 Fuckstorm WEREWOLF—
And THAT, my friends, is why you take it easy on the blowjays and bean-licking! You go too hard, and you’ll morph into a nigh unstoppable murder-crazed beast! Goddamn!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #WritingCommunity
🙂 🙂 😀