What the two-hander is going on, all you porn-brained deviants who’ve watched too many fuck videos and are now convinced that a blow-jay has to be both fists stacked atop each other plus the mouth but your puny gerbil-dick fails to meet the requirement so you spend several hours every day punching the heavy bag while ugly-crying harder than Will Ferrell, after which you go out and buy a dozen kitted-out guns, a Ferrari, and a giant truck to make up for your shortcomings but none of it helps so you grab a wakizashi and prepare to commit seppu—
DON’T DO IT! Come on, man—just because your wiener is on par with a long skin tag or a wobbly baby tooth doesn’t mean you can’t do oral!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #WritingCommunity
🙂 🙂 😀
Kent Wayne 
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