What the confusion-porn is happening, all you baffled-as-fuck horndogs who can’t watch a fuck-video without stumbling across sex with people stuck in fences or dryers or some variation of incestual boffing (I blame YOU George R.R. Martin; this shit wasn’t popular before the goddamn Lannisters!) and now you can’t go to jiu-jitsu without wondering is this a triangle or a blowjob SHIT wrong one flee the class crash through window gotta COMMIT SEPPUKKU—
Whoa there, easy on the fence-porn, pervert! Stick with the classics, like milfs and anal and pizza-delivery sex! You can’t keep up with these new-fangled youngsters—you don’t stand a chance against their gooey-fisted, butt-licking, choke-slamming ways!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!
🙂 🙂 😀
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