What the 80s sex is happening, all my fellow fogies who remember the times of 3 dates before smashing, often accompanied by evocative sax solos (as well as some drifting fadeouts of said sax player, a mulleted dude wearing a jacket no tie) whilst you throw your head back against the moonlit background, gasping and closing your eyes in super-slo mo, then writhing against your partner in liquid undulations as the blankets tastefully drape over anything x-rated—
BLASPHEMY!!! Come on, man, get with the times! At the very least, foreplay should end up sounding like squishy mac n’ cheese, and pound-town should have some slappa-slap, slappa-SLAP! Even with that, the kids nowadays would be bored as hell—those fresh-faced perverts are all about blumpkins and fishhooks and stinkfinger yerberts!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!
🙂 🙂 😀