In my first year of high school, I learned to become a โDaywalker.โย You may recognize the term from Bladeโit describes a half-vampire, half-human that has all of the strengths of a vampire, but none of the weaknesses.
I call myself that because Iโm a nerd and a jockโI enjoy lifting and all forms of grappling, but I also read comic books and recite the lines along with the characters when I watch OG Star Wars.ย Iโve managed to conceal my geekishness behind a bulging pair of guns and a sleek set of abs (need to get a laugh?ย Tell people youโre injured and resting at home.ย When they ask whatโs wrong, lift up your shirt and tell them I need to heal these CUTS, muhfuh!).ย
Thankfully, the jocks donโt suspect I binge-watch anime or listen to girly pop.ย This allows me to wander in and out of disparate worldsโbetween night and day, if you will.
I smile to myself as I load up a squat barbell with a handful of wheels, trying to imagine what their reaction would be if they knew I was listening to โEternal Flameโ by the Bangles.ย They’d probably question my heterosexuality and penis size, then stick my head in a toilet and give me a swirly.ย Not very innovative, I know, but thatโs jocks for you.
As I knock out reps, I earn approving looks from my fellow meatheads.ย The script is predictable:ย look at beast-mode Kent, getting after it again.ย Heโs one of us.ย One of the strong.ย One of the deserving.
But then my iPhone fritzes and blinks.ย Suddenly, it switches from headphone to speakers.
โSAY MY NAME, SUN SHINES THROUGH THE RAINโฆโ
Fuck.ย FUCK!ย I fumble with my phone, tapping the screen and pausing the song.ย Too lateโtheyโve formed a circle around me, rage-filled eyes burning in their skulls.
โHEโS NOT ONE OF US!โ one of them screams.ย โGET HIM!โ
They rush toward me, filling the gym with brutish howls.ย I catch the first with a hip-throw, then another with an ankle-pick.
Thereโs too damn many of ’em.ย Iโve got two or three seconds before they swirly the fuck out of my goddamned face.
So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.ย Magic flash.
The walls burst inward, saturating the air with crumbly powder.ย Hot-ass Soccer Moms hit the floor in anime-style crouchesโone knee down, the other knee up.ย They rise to their feet in perfect unison.
The one in front of me declares:ย โKent Wayne and his delicious dick are under our protection.โ
The jock holding my right arm squints in puzzlement.ย โMom?โ
She levels her gaze at him.ย โFuck off back to the house.ย You donโt want to see what happens next.โย She nods at the other moms.ย โProceed.โ
The moms march forward, shoving the jocks out of the way and piling atop me.ย Dozens of hands grope my wiener.ย Tongues dart in and out of my ears and run up and down my neck.
โMom?ย MOM?ย NO!ย PLEAAAAASEEE!!!!โย (sounds like Luke when he found out Vader rawdogged his mom.)ย Jocks start bawling as my penis springs from its confines.ย Itโs immediately barraged by lips and fingers.ย
I pillow my hands behind my head, smiling like the cat that got the cream.
โMOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!โ
Music to my ears!ย HEH heh heh!
Kent Wayne wins again!ย Ha HA!
๐
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Have a bunch of meatheads turned against you for your questionable taste in music?ย Never fear!ย Get KorโThank here:ย KorโThank:ย Barbarian Valley Girl.ย Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: ย Vol. 1 on Kindle.ย ย Vol. 2 on Kindle here: ย Vol.2 on Kindleย ย Vol. 3 on Kindle here: ย Vol. 3 on Kindleย ย Vol.4 on Kindle here:ย ย Vol. 4 on Kindleย Echo Omnibus here:ย ย Echo Omnibusย Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:ย ย Combined Editionย Musings, Volume 1 is available here:ย ย Musings, Volume 1ย If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKINโ BRAIN, then hereโs a link to my podcast:ย ย Strained Brains!ย It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!ย Please give it a listen and a five-star review!ย Hereโs the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:ย ย Optimization!ย ย ๐ย ๐ย ๐
Hold on!ย I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!ย If youโre going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and youโd like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links Iโve providedโtheyโll send you to Echoโs Amazon pageโand THEN buy whatever product you wish.ย Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!ย In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!ย Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!ย Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!ย ย ๐ฒ๐ชย ๐ย #Kindleย #KindleUnlimited

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