Give my books a read and a review!

What the blowjob slipup is happening, all you flatulent reprobates who accidentally emit a squeak-fart while you’re getting a shlorpily enthusiastic beej, you try to cover it up with an operatic crescendo that would make Celine Dion raise an eyebrow and give a nod of admiration while simultaneously screaming “SNIPERS!” and smacking your automated cat-toy laser pod so it coats the wall in dancing red dots in a vain attempt to convince your lover that killers are sighting in, no dice, they’re not buying it, they’re choking the shit out of you and snarling in rage, as a last ditch attempt you sputter it wasn’t you, it was an invisible horse fluttering its flubbery invisible lips, they’ve infested the spirit world and framed thousands of non-farters, world’s going dim, blackness creeping in from the edges of your vision—

Have some mouthsex courtesy, goddammit!  When the b-hole tremors, that’s when you switch into fuckmode or return the favor!  Never, EVER desecrate a face with a blast of stale ass! 

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀


Comments

12 responses to “Give my books a read and a review!”

  1. That’s for sure an attention getter

  2. You’re good lol

  3. What a way to start a post! lol. I’m going to have to check out those books.

  4. You made me roll in laughter. Where did you get such an idea for an intro? Now that is attention grabbing indeed. Share your secret? 😋

  5. You made me roll in laughter with your intro 🤣😂😅. How did you come up with such a brilliant idea? Now that’s what I say is attention grabbing. Share your secret 😋…

    1. I just tap my inner juvenile delinquent and he always comes through, lol!

  6. I’m not a scfi fan but because you’re hilarious I’m checking them out. Can’t promise to read though.

    1. No worries, I hope you enjoy!

      1. I had a peek at your book. Makes me want to read it. I got a stack already waiting for me to read them…hopefully I’ll get to yours at a later date. 😏

      2. No worries. Thanks for the interest!

  7. 🤣 I’m here for it. Great intro!

    1. Thank you! 😁🤣

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