What the math-boner is happening, all you boredom-vulnerable meatslingers who’ve made the terrible mistake of wearing gray sweatpants to a goddamn calculus class, as your professor starts professorizing blood rushes into your peen, causing it to strain like a champion powerlifter forced into a straitjacket—HRRH! RRRRHHH!!!—it pokes above your waistband and continues to inch upward, oh shit it’s not gonna stop, derivatives logarithms integrals and chain rules why the fuck are they tangenting into quantum fucking physics, your boner plops out and herniates your back while simultaneously sending the class into a frenzy, they’re yelling “KILL IT KILL IT BEFORE IT DESTROYS US ALL!” brandishing pitchforks and torches (Goddamn penis-fearing heathens!) Now they’re rushing you and you can’t escape because your wiener is the size of a big-ass TV, if only you had a wheelbarrow to help move it around but even then you’d have to fight this mob of intolerant philistines—
And THAT, my friends, is why you don’t wear sweatpants to a goddamn math class! Wrap that shit around your thigh and your ankle, then cinch it off before you learn you some numbers! Goddamn!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
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