Yet another weird ad for my novels


Long ago, my name Kent Wayne.  I eat Cheeto and dorito.  Drink mountain dew and feast on pizza.  Make love to soccer moms, and earn good money for Man Whore smashies.  Then zombie virus run amuck, and I try to hide from ugly biters.  They chase me down and bite bite bite.  Bite my neck, bite my butt, bite my big girthy wiener and make into ravaged little dangle, smaller than tiny sad link of gray Jimmy Dean.

That hurt most.  Award-winning wiener deserve much better.  World need upcurve and hole-stretching girth.

Refuse to eat human, but really really hard.  I wander around and moan and groan.  Super slow because no eat people.  Sometimes try to jerk zombie-fied wiener, but much too floppy—like playing with pool with piece of string.  Occasionally, watch myfriendshotmom dot com, but hurt too much.  Deep in Kent’s mind, Kent remember what it like to go buck nuts wild with horned up soccer mom.  Balance several shots on hole-stretching wiener, then soccer mom pick up with mouth and chug-a-lug-lug.  Decorate glans with many accessories—favorite was Batman mask and Santa hat—then dance night away.  Me, Wiener, and chug-a-lug-lug soccer mom.  So much fun and boner-ific joy.

But over time, wiener keep shriveling and crumbling.  No soccer mom want it now, not when it look like sick little hamster tail.

Sigh.  Oh well.  At least I have eReader.

Wait…eReader use to have magic power.  If I open to Kent Wayne novel, maybe I activate.  So I open eReader and magic flash.

Huh.  No do nothing.  Worth a shot.  Maybe one day, they find cure and—

Knock knock knock. 

“Keeee-ent…oh Keeee-ent…”

Who could be?  Brow crinkle in puzzlement, then door open, revealing best client of all time:  Soccer Mom Prime.  I try to explain that Wiener no work, but all that come out is:  “Hurrrr…Buhhh….”

Soccer Mom Prime wave dismissively.  “We found a cure.  Unfortunately, it’s physically inside you.”  She snap on rubber glove, then follow up with knowing nod.

Wait.  No like where this is going.  Cure inside body?  Holes are for exit!  Exit only, Zom dammit! 

I get up and shamble away.  “Ruuuhhh…Gruuuhhh…” 

No use.  Soccer Mom Prime easily catch up and give me exasperated look.  “Come on, Kent—it’s 2022.  Everyone and their mother is into buttplay.  Just relax and it’ll be over soon.”

No!  Very sensitive around crinkled starfish!  Go away, browneye invader!  Do not touch rusty bullet hole!

SMP shake head in disgust, then cock arm back like softball champ.  “Here goes.  Try and relax.”

Help!  Rather be zombie than fingerblast anus with roto-rooter phalange!  Cannot believe it has come to thi—shloop!  


SMP withdraws her finger.  Along with my faculties, my skin and muscle begin to regenerate.  In a matter of seconds, I’m back to my big-donged self.

“Wow…”  I stare at my hands, turning them back and forth in utter astonishment.  “I’m…me.”  I look up at SMP.  “Thank you.”

“De nada,” she says, putting her hands on her hips.  “The rest of the world is already cured.  Let’s get back to living, shall we?”

“Uh…okay.”  I rub the back of my neck.  “What do you want to do?”

She gives my knee-knocking wiener a pointed look.  “What do you think?” 

I raise my hands, a gesture that says slow your roll.  “Keep your fingers out of my butt.”

Her smile grows devilish.  “No promises.”

I chew my lip…then acquiesce with a shrug.  “I’m gonna charge double.  Triple, actually.”

She waves me off.  “Whatever.”

Triple the pay and smashes with Soccer Mom Prime???  Kent Wayne wins again!  HEH heh heh!


Have you been turned into a soulless zombie, and you now need someone to turn you back?  Never fear!  Buy my books and hit that reset button! Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor. Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommuni

66 thoughts on “Yet another weird ad for my novels

  1. Nice! just a quick question do you need your demon guillotining i take offence when the body of man gets ravaged by beasts other than me! i could temperance you to see if you fit into religions!

    After that i would have a drink! and come through tomorrow a saint! i almost checked for a vomit bowl! you need to check your hot tub levels, were they set to Fallout instead of heaven! Coz i have been waiting six hours to grant you your request and no reply!

    If my vacant possession of a husband doesn’t get stroppy after all this i will have to think about catching another deliverer! water! water! water! into wine! lol 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I once have been bitten by a zombie. People said they couldn’t seem no change at all. I had no table manners to begin with and sat always growling and muttering incomprehensible words at the dinner table to begin with.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. silence is golden how am i meant to tempt you if you do not bite back! as for your soccer mom, i got skills to kill them off! Save your girth been ground down like a log by termites!
    I feel you should let me play with you it might positively affect your deviant, teenage angst personality! promise i won’t bite (nape of your neck is exceptionally succulent !💋)

    Liked by 1 person

      • i love using my training teeth! Firstly i expect your hands to be firmly holding my butt! if your big enough i expect i will encourage your attention expanding your girth! my tongue is extra long (keep it clean!) i love to feel it expand!… my hands firmly on until you take over! i come first ( so i can catch you!) once i climax i expect elongated play and lots of kisses, cuddles and attention post event!

        I hate hickeys but i am with you on the sensation! I multiple so i expect it to be an event! 🌹😜 i know mind i was gutted to be a nun, thank god i religiously killed/ filtered so many on the borders! lol

        Liked by 1 person

      • i love using my training teeth!

        i hate hickeys but i am with you on the sensation! i like kissing and sucking….your bottom lip! 😂 i am so sensitive i roll explode tantric or contact! ) ,

        i just watched a film were my manifestations were poorly executed! i would never fake an orgasm! lol

        Liked by 1 person

      • what about the interior guiders to your leg! you reckon you could cope with a little sensory application! post waxing off course! trailing up to your nipples! lol 😆 avoiding all slurpy levels whilst being tied to my bed! just in case your master gets over excited!😜

        Then i will crack open a bottle of wine and put on a film! lol

        Liked by 1 person

      • You are a nightmare! all the possibilities in the good book and your stuck at oral! It is called foreplay for a reason the stepping stones to the rest of the sharing! The whole point is not to so you can continue….. not your satisfied the end! tut tut… re-ed. on isle one!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I reckon i could get it complete without even being present! I will be lady of the lake and just take it! lol i love being dripping wet! lol 💋

        To be honest the nape of the neck is so tantalising the thought of it just makes me smile! lol😁 this should have fangs! lol

        Liked by 1 person

      • If only i would upload myself! we could have had so much fun! Have my 🎂and eat it! Oh well grandads are sat with their sons and daughters again! Maybe i should roast their bodies and create a new one! lol i will just nibble on my supply level, i always connect with them all anyway! 😘

        Liked by 1 person

      • Some ladies who after conversation feel they have competition! 100% attention on you for a few minutes and you would not be focussed on anything else! No one else would compare, trust me if i feel like expressing my needs you would be transfixed!

        not brave enough! lol💋

        Liked by 1 person

      • Confidence is key! i will take your word for it i am waiting, just ignore the bandages, pick me up , hit the masters suite and we will see what you have to offer! Good enough i might even freeze the timeline for a few hours sharing masters! lol 10pm 12pm or 2pm when they are all pretending to be dead is better….🌹🤣 less likely to interrupt proceedings! although that is part of the fun… lol

        Liked by 1 person

      • no-tell kaleidoscope of deliverance movies and music, more a buddhist retreat guarded by a dragon viewing all sides! with angel wings! lol 😂 working on earning my horns!😜😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • I tend to braid mine it is easier to manage, spray and go! It is sooooo hot! My power nap was exquisite….oooohhhh! lol 🤣 really is no hope i am so H…..y!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Explain in my-glish please! i sired up i forgot what a sex drive was carrying angels! Species savant, to be fair my excessive requirement and love of hot vampires started this, you are just indulging my military need for banter! Although in reality would love to play, i am exceptional on finding special friends with amazing qualities! contactless as goddess i am eternal, on all sides and most my friends just vanish!🌹

        Liked by 1 person

      • To be honest the most random of comparisons, Honey, whipped cream, fruit or ice ⛸ could make an awesome brunch, picnic pudding or key to an hours foreplay! lol🤣

        Liked by 1 person

      • Great minds think a like! It tok me three hours to reset my account on to a new laptop, guardians of the galaxy finger roll to the old one! lol memory issues, just take pics thats what i would do, speaking of withc if i was really blind who’s would your face feel like?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Really! I do believe you intrigue me more every day! Which decade you in? I find your naughty endearing, not many people i show my guards to, street princess to ministries but you will not be able to tell! lived carrying buddhist and st. Francis lowest levels and catching royal families post deliverance!

        I look like all my sisters, movies and music, just carrying another world!

        Liked by 1 person

      • When was it recent! Body forty and mind of a teen, like me then! lol 1979 collecter of lost souls! Judicial, buddhist walker the things my granny behaviour achieved was the oppertunity to kill anyone by deflection! I still look the same as my twenties, just massive headlights and an ass to bounce a dime on! Although doughy from my higher husbands constant attempts to refil my body for my superior genetics! little….! i am peaking in all areas perfectly especially tantric service and manifetation!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah it was recent, late May. I’ve still got a pretty face, although there’s a few white hairs creeping in on my sideburns. Most ladies like that, though. 😉


      • I have two Supernatural Elvira streaks coming on but the rest is a chestnut with ash blonde highlights! I have been working hard filterring the community the more i cast to protect the whiter it is going to get! Beau derrick,

        Liked by 1 person

      • Quickies, cannot be achieved by hours of fruity foreplay, but i can create amazing climaxes, play, pause just need a bit of free space, a bed in my summer house? lol i am naughty!

        Liked by 1 person

      • should i close the curtains! and put on the flash light 🚥 green content, amber probably going to take it, red = dead certain i am going to eat you alive, lol…. 😜

        Liked by 1 person

  4. so good it was sent twice and no reply! send a paramedic! i will do the kiss of life take off his clothes and see if it has a pulse! lol bring him back through the balance…i haven’t finished with you yet! 😜 lol

    I know how to wake him up! a little high end tantric exploration!

    Liked by 1 person

      • Now is the event fifty shades me with the bunji chords, you wearing the cuffs! I prefer a good film first, Hitch! Miss independent! the proposal or Mr and Mrs Smith!

        You keep saying this and i imagine no teeth and slaver!

        Fully dentured dark haired, blue eyed and fully stacked that is just the thank you! A naughty good book to share and you will be cooking me breakfast!💋✨

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes i would like! that’s is ordering! i will be quiet if your tired!
        you will barely know i am there, other than the bed wash and slippers is there anything i need to know about you and mornings!

        Now are we talking 2am, brunch and tea, glass of wine for supper and slipping into something comfortable and hot! i am an aboriginal vamp, day walker, do i need to prep a room for full moon events or avoid stakes! lol i am already enjoying the idea! lol

        You know what being served! you!💋lol

        Liked by 1 person

      • I wonder! morning glory has nothing to do with relieving yourself! erection over rides your ability too! how about you be honest!

        Apply sim, toilet shower, woohoo! lol

        Liked by 1 person

  5. How is my friend today did you enjoy breakfast! I ordered an aubergine but it arrived tantrically! god knows what is going on, you good with yo gun(sniper) or are you a blade personality, Fallout or Ezio? It’s lacking spice but full of masculine narrative, makes me want to slap them and go!

    PS if you wanted disabling we could have exchanged your personality driver without violence!

    Men! Only good for one thing! Doing as they are told! On your knee’s and….give me…!

    Liked by 1 person

      • i am fine with you being on you knees too!🤔 now about these six kids! is it normal to adopt your friends carriages and spend the next twenty years earning them with the walking body of your dead husband and tantrically with his gradient! cause if so base ground needs a sex drive! i could sign you in! if it wasn’t raising its own six kids! lol eye has a lot to answer for!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. 24 level immacculate you try to crash my levels will fly through! Para’s with an incubator, nothing is going to disable me, after 24 levels of a husband temperanced out on all three sides post masters! deletion of ten years worth of allotted demons! Married to movies and music i am just waiting for one that can still play! I sired up to save the house now just waiting for my new space to share with my new wards! And my “husband” to get his badges on and sit or i will replace it with a roll of thunder!

    Liked by 1 person

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