Give my books a read and a review!

What the testicular insecurity is going on, all my fellow meat-slingers who’re packing a juicy thick womb-hammer but your nuts fail to measure up, so you die a little more inside whenever you see a porn where the sack is clapping stoutly against the clit or the butthole, and this haunts you to the point where you force a grin day after day, until your partner complements you on your piece and you scream, “So what you’re saying is that my balls look like pop rocks—aren’t you?  AREN’T YOU?!?!?!?”  Then you sprint out the door ugly-crying harder than Will fucking Ferrell, shoveling giant spoonfuls of melty ice-cream into your gob, swearing that you’ll make them all pay for making fun of your wrinkled little sack that’s so damn tiny it doesn’t even look like two separate balls, but more like a stunted peach pit that gets ridiculed at recess by all the other normal-sized peach pits—

What the FUCK!?!?  Hey man, do you have any idea how many men have been driven to sports cars, backwards baseball caps, and cringey-ass bro-code because their wiener could double as a frightened light switch?  And you have the nerve to complain about your goddamn BALLS???  Get the fuck out of here!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy:  A Door into Evermoor.  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #WritingCommunity

🙂 🙂 😀

18 thoughts on “Give my books a read and a review!

  1. I am reading Echo and having such a good time with it! Intelligent, inventive, hellacious (in a good way), and artistic are a few words that describe my experience with it. Echo may be a guy topic, but it hardly speaks to only a male audience.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, I appreciate the read! Yeah, I feel like I know what you’re talking about, insofar as Atriya’s finds himself at a plateau (literally and figuratively in chapter 1) and he’s struggling with the realization that he can’t keep going about business as usual. At the same time, the system he’s in doesn’t care, and will not just usher him out the door, but dispose of him without any fucks given. I feel like my friends both in the military and corporate world have experienced that to some degree, although Echo obviously being a dystopia, I amped up the dysfunction as much as I could.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Never tempt the karma of the Cyclops nutsack lest the same fate befall you. You’ll live to curse the seam in your boxer briefs, lose your balance due to overweighting the right or left side, order only baggy, preferably pleated pants, seek out jizz max vitamins… an unending horror. Like Lance Armstrong. He lost a nut and vanished…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. just a question what position would said balls be rubbing against the clit? Headstand with you levitating into position, or am i just overthinking the whole event! Any way if your member was bent in such a way it would snap off! Also the sheep bands slid over your nuts would be irrelevant just get a marker pen and draw them back on! no one will tell the difference this is why women coming first is essential you can fill bundles with all the dead people you eat instead of sperm! They would have more chance returning in your image as one of your body bags! Ah orgasm the best deliverance in the world! Which karmic position were you on!

    Liked by 1 person

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