What the scatter-piss is happening, my fellow big-dick-slitted folk who have tried and tried to explain your plight, agonizing over each urinary debacle to the point where you’re sumo-squatting over the toilet and forming a little pee-shield with your hand between your wiener and your thighs while you’re saying the Lord’s Prayer with tears of frustration streaming down your cheeks, when what you REALLY wanna do is corner every fucker with a prejudice against your piss, steal a big bite of their burger and a big gulp of their sprite and rattle off that Pulp Fiction shit where Sam Jackson puts the fear of God into their wormlike souls before you show them firsthand how the piss goes everywhere and now it’s about to go in their motherfucking FACE—
Whoa whoa WHOA! Easy there, asshole! Don’t chomp down on other peoples’ burgers, and don’t take your piss-hate out on innocent bystanders—they know not the burden of a giant dick slit!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!
🙂 🙂 😀