What the whore-hole is happening, my fellow whores of all genders, shapes, and occupations who’ve brazenly offered up your holes for plundering yet time and age have degraded their firmness and now you sob quietly at night as you contemplate how they went from beautiful, tight orifices into yawning caves full of horror and possibly also tentacles—
Come ON, man! Get busy with the kegels! Ain’t got time for that woe-is-me-my-holes-are-destroyed nonsense! Get the fuck out of here!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast! If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!
🙂 🙂 😀