What the terror-cock is happening, all my fellow meat-packers who are slinging so much sausage that you gotta spray it with ice water and put a bow-tie on it to make it look as small and respectable as possible before showing it to a potential mate because otherwise they’ll go make a run for the nearest weapon in a desperate attempt to fend off your—

Christ on a stick!  Lube up and lights off, you damn barbarian!  Us big-wienered folk know better than to show off our gigantimongus vajeen-wideners!  Arrogant fool!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast!  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!

🙂 🙂 😀