Kor’Thank: A High School Absurdical

IN THE NEAR FUTURE…

 

Some people thought the world was gonna end, but they were dead wrong.  We could handle the virus.  There was one plague, however, that had us beat from the get-go.

KARENS.

Once they started mutating into variants, we never stood a chance.  Adelines, Claires, Katelyns, Judiths…

You can’t fight.  You can only run.

 

 

SEVERAL YEARS INTO THE KAREN REIGN…

 

I bank right, activating the boosters on my titanium jetpack.  My airborne pursuers—several dozen Jessas and Kaylas—match my trajectory.  Despite my cutting-edge flight gear, I don’t stand a chance.  There’s too damn many of ’em. 

Even from here, I can feel my cock retracting into my belly.  It’ll only be a matter of time before it’s permanently stunted—reduced to a sexless nub that would evoke laughter and ridicule from a poorly endowed gerbil.  Damn these variants and their wiener-destroying powers!

Fuck it.  No options left.  So I open my eReader to Kor’Thank, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

My melanin-tinged penis rips through my pants, whipping through the night as it magically grows fifty feet long.  As the head snakes beneath the Karens’ faces, it fills their noses with its delectable, just-showered fragrance.

“NO!” one of them screams.  “IT’S TOO DELICIOUS!” 

Their skulls start exploding one by one.  For the sheer fuck of it, I belt out Tchaikovsky’s Overture in my best Peter Griffin voice. 

Get away from me, Karen-variants!  Kent Wayne escapes again! 

😀

 

Are you running like hell from a savage pack of Everleighs, Clementines, and Rylees?  Never fear!  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited

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